Thanks, Pete!

My first full-time job in the private sector was in the 1980s, as a computer programmer for Coleco Industries of West Hartford, Connecticut - the Cabbage Patch Kids company. Our systems analyst’s name was Pete, and our senior programmer was also named Pete. I don’t think I was hired just because my name is not Pete, but it may have helped.

Every year we got forms to fill out concerning how much of our pay to put into a defined contribution retirement plan. One of the Petes asked me how much I was putting in. I said, “I'm gonna put that off for another year. Right now, I’m just making expenses but I’m sure I’ll get a raise next year and I’ll save most of that.”

“Randy, that will never happen. Your lifestyle will always rise to match your paycheck,” said one of the Petes. “When you get a bigger paycheck, you’ll find more to spend it on.”

I bristled inside. I knew in my heart that I had all the virtues and was a mountain of self-discipline. I definitely would save prudently when the time came … just not now.

Pete quietly said, “They match your contribution. 100% match for the first 3%.”

That got my attention. Free money got my attention. I signed up for the max.

Years went by. I got raises, but Pete was right: my lifestyle expanded to fit my paycheck. There was always an opportunity, a need, or just a chance to enjoy life a little that coincidentally fit the amount of money I had saved at the credit union. That mountain of self-discipline was a comforting illusion, good for my ego but not so good for my savings.

Then came the housing industry collapse around 2008. This was a tragedy for millions or maybe tens of millions who lost everything, but for me it was an opportunity to stop paying rent and start paying a mortgage - therefore building equity. I had not been willing to risk my retirement savings on the theory that housing prices would keep climbing - I knew from experience it ain’t necessarily so - but buying into a depressed market was attractive.

And … it was possible only because of that 3% every paycheck going into an account.

(The full story is more complicated due to employer changes, but just roll with it, ok?)

I pulled out enough for down payment, paid taxes and penalties, and moved into the house I live in today. After refinancing during the 2020 collapse, I am now paying less for my 4-bedroom house than I would pay to rent a 1-bedroom apartment 3 blocks from here.

The lesson I’d like to pass on is not that you should hope for financial collapse. That is a bad plan for many reasons.

I feel that waiting until you make enough money to start saving is not going to happen. There will always be something else to spend on - especially if you have kids or other responsibilities.

What might work is to take that money out of your paycheck before you see it, and adjust your lifestyle to what you got left. Nothing in life is certain, but this worked for me and might work for you.

I appreciate that too many people are working too many hours for too little pay to get by, and I don't have an answer for that. But if you can put that 3% away before it hits your paycheck ... and especially if you have employer match ... it might pay off for you as it did for me.

I have lost track of most of my Coleco buddies, but I owe them this: Thank you, Pete, wherever you are. And whichever one you were!

Prank Memory: SYSTEM CRASH

WAY-BACK-WHEN: 

Coding an inventory management system for the company that sold Cabbage Patch dolls, I slipped in a line that said if this was our test system (not production) and it was April Fools' Day, then the company name was "SYSTEM CRASH". 

No one could see this but the coders while we were testing things. Once a year, we all got a good laugh and forgot about it until next year ...

 ...until management made the not-unreasonable decision to use the test system for end-user training.

 Chaos ensued.

I Can't Complain, Although I Want To

I've had good luck and I've had bad luck. Good luck is better!

In my career, I've been screwed over several times, but I must in honesty admit I've also had some unreasonably good luck. In my case, things have more-or-less worked out even.

My first good job was back when people were just getting over the idea that programming had to be on punch cards, and structured programming was still controversial. (Not to me, but to people who just didn't Get It!) If you don't know what structured programming is, think of it as the invention of cellular life; before it, our loose and unstructured coding protoplasm wandered messily all over the place and died mysteriously.

I moved from Michigan to Pelham, Massachusetts possessing several years of programming experience, but had no luck finding work. Partly this was because I was living in a small college town where there was an oversupply of students competing with me. I also didn't want to take a pay cut from what I'd earned in Michigan, little appreciating that my resume and professional appearance was not helpful. (All those people who tell you appearance doesn't count, it's what's inside that matters, knew nothing about looking for work.) Armed with an unrealistic view of my marketability, and knowing nobody actually working for pay in my field, I turned down a couple of offers that I now know were actually reasonable.

Finally, I got an interview at Coleco Industries, in Hartford. This was a grossly excessive commute, but I was out of options, so I went to the interview with the project manager named Ray. Now I'm not going to say anything bad about Ray; I like Ray; he was very outgoing and if he didn't have the greatest technical skills in the world, he was never nasty. If I could make something work, that's all that really mattered to him; what else do you want?

But our first interaction was a screw-up. At the interview, Ray asked if I knew anything about transaction programming. Sure, I thought, I knew what a transaction is. You know, it's like cashing a check. And I knew about programming. So I said yes. And so I got the job.

It turned out that we had both fooled ourselves and each other. Transaction programming was a specialized field, sort of like pre-internet page serving with some database access thrown it. It wasn't that hard to pick up, so maybe Ray never knew we'd mutually b.s.'d each other. Maybe it didn't matter, since it all worked out.  Maybe the supply of programmers was tight in Hartford, with the big insurance companies vacuuming up all the talent. Or maybe Ray could never admit a mistake.

At any rate, through this lucky accident I got a gig which was still the best job I ever had. The working conditions were good, the pay and bennies fine, I had lots of friends and respect for the knowledge I had crafted. (I would still be working there today, if the company hadn't gone bankrupt, but that's another funny story...)


I like to think of that job interview, when I am reminded of the times I was screwed over. For certain organizations, I have sacrificed a lot; in return, I've been treated like a used tissue - not even recycled! Now, this has been not everywhere and everytime; I can name some good organizations and great bosses too but, frankly, technical merit and business success has too often been the least important features of too many projects. This would annoy any normal person but, since my entire programming career depended on that one bit of unreasonably good luck, how can I complain when the dice run cold?

Don't we all like to think that anybody can succeed with hard work, good planning, skill and determination? Don't we all know this is horseshit, although (like a steaming manure pile), sometimes it's your only source of warmth on a cold wintery day? Anyone will find it easier to succeed with work, planning, skill, determination and a bit of horseshit, but as Stephen Schwartz writes in Pippin:

"Now listen to me closely I'll endeavor to explain
What separates a charlatan from a Charlemagne
A rule confessed by generals illustrious and various
Though pompous as a Pompey or daring as a Darius
A simple rule that every good man knows by heart
It's smarter to be lucky than it's lucky to be smart"

And with that cheery thought ... good night and good luck!