Thursday, July 24, 2008

Wilfred Brimley to Play McCain at Convention

Hollywood - Actor Wilfred Brimley has been chosen to play John McCain at the Republican National Convention.

"I'm feeling kind of tired," said McCain, "So I mix up a lot of facts. Like I don't remember whether the Anbar Awakening of 2006 came before or after the surge of 2007. And I just can't remember - is Iraq next to Pakistan? I think it must be, because I want to bomb them both. Anyhoo, under the circumstances, I think I'll just have someone read my speech at the Convention. Then I can nap."

Pundits applauded this move. "The values of the McCain campaign center around one theme: regularity. And who better to deliver this message than Quaker Oats spokesmodel Brimley?"

"This is a relief to McCain supporters in the media," said Katie Couric. "We've been having to edit his remarks so they weren't completely off-the-wall. Brimley, at least, can read a script."

An historian noted this is not the first time the role of presidential candidate has been played by an actor. "Danny DeVito covered for Dick Cheney in 2004 by reprising his 'Penguin' role, without the makeup. No-one noticed." In addition, Secret Service logs reveal Jim Carey played George W Bush on numerous occasions, drawing on his experience as the lead in "Liar, Liar!"

In related news, the Obama campaign denied rumors that it is negotiating with Will Smith.
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Smashing Magazine: Microformats: What They Are and How To Use Them

One of the new terms on the horizon is Microformats - formats, which make it possible to create meta-content which can be not only read, but also understood by machines. This post is supposed to give you an idea, what Microformats actually mean. Use them to enrich your content and make it more visible and understandable for search engines.

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

McCain Denounces Obama Failure to Visit Pala'u

DC - Republican presidential candidate John Sidney McCain the 3rd revealed today that Senator Barack Obama has never visited America's ally Pala'u.

"Pala'u was a steadfast support of George W Bush's invasion of Iraq," explained McCain. "For Obama to ignore this key remaining ally shows his lack of experience in foreign affairs.

"In contrast, I am well acquainted with the situation on the Iraq-Pala'u border. "In fact, if I am elected, I will deal with the terror threat of Pala'u by bombing it back into the stone age!"

Pundits agreed this is a major scandal that, like so many others, is certain to doom Obama's chances. "Senator Obama may claim he can learn things by 'reading' and 'using the internet'," said Republican media embed Karl Rove. "But Presidents don't do that. George W Bush doesn't read or use the internet, and look where that's got us!"


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Monday, July 21, 2008

New GI Bill answers

Just more than a year from now, on Aug. 1, 2009, veterans' education benefits will undergo a life-changing transformation that will make a four-year college degree suddenly affordable for a new generation of wartime veterans.Learn when benefits start, who will qualify and how much you may get

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Green Choices Made Easier!

...thanks to Consumer Reports!

The leading name in product testing has set up to help you figure out whether a particular consumer product is green or a scheme. What do those labels mean anyway?

The site covers cars, appliances, insect repellent ... objective information on all sorts of stuff! It's got calculators for air conditioner sizing, fuel economy, heating and cooling, refrigerator and washer/dryer energy and (of course) carbon footprint. A Toxic database. Blogs and a forum. Check it out:

Sunday, July 20, 2008

I Didn't Hit The Guy, Due To Dumb Luck

In the "Don't Be That Guy!" department: I did something stupid this week, that could've been disasterous but wasn't, owing strictly to dumb luck. I record this in the hope that you will learn from this and don't do what I did!

I've been driving over forty years and never had an accident. So I have a pretty high opinion of my ability to avoid accidents; as the facts may show, maybe too high.

So: I want to turn right at an intersection where my road T's into a two-way. I'm stopped, signaling, etc. Look right: nothing. Look in front: going left to right on the road in front of me is a funny little vehicle, it'll clear me in a second. Look left: nothing. I roll forward and start my turn.

AAAAAAAAH! That funny little vehicle is turning very hard right in front of my car!

It turns out to be a park department vehicle, heading for a curb cut to my right to go into the park and do what-ever. It looked to me like we missed by the thickness of a coat of paint! It was probably not as bad as that, since he kept on going like nothing had happened, but from my point of view ... half-a-second the other way and I'd be explaining things to a cop, and the park department guy'd be explaining things to St. Peter.

Well, draw your own lessons. I was lucky, don't you depend on luck!