Finance Committee Wednesdays

I am pleased that we have decided to hold regular finance meetings as a household. The housemates are of course their own economic unit, what with being married and all, and they have their own plans. However, the house itself needs plans as well, as the money situation gets more complex.
I am amused at our choice of Wednesday as the evening for the meeting. It is literally the one evening that none of us had devoted to another project, mostly of self-improvement although to be fair weekends are fun. That's a type of self-improvement perhaps.
I have nearly a week to think of how to organize the meeting ... in cooperation with the others, of course ... so that it is effective. No-one likes a meeting that goes on too long, and a meeting that doesn't meet its purposes automatically goes on too long.
I blog about this in part to make a public commitment: we shall meet and we shall accomplish. I rarely make public commitments because I don't like not meeting them, but that is all the more reason for making a public commitment on something important.
Making this complex household work is important!

The Rhythm of Work

Getting back into the swing of regular work is quite a change from my former entrepreneurial life. It is natural to kick against the goad, but at the moment this actually seems like a valuable structure. I have x minutes in the morning and about twice that in the evening with which to get done optional activities. This morning I got a call into my health insurer, which ran a little over so I didn't pack lunch. This lead me to buying lunch at work, confirming the wisdom of packing my lunch every day, no matter how inconvenient.  There was nothing really wrong with the lunch I bought, except that I could have prepared it for about a dollar. I suppose some lessons have to be learned the slow way, including how to get things done between the beats.

A Toast to Toastmasters

As of last month, every other Tuesday is Toastmasters and I'm loving it. It is 90 minutes of unremitting positivity, good organization and helpful feedback.
Also I love the stories.
I have - not entirely inappropriately - been mourning the collapse and washing away of my catalogue of friends built around my marriage of more than 10 years - losing the partner is a hard knock but the discovery that I had nothing in common with any of the friends of that marriage was also saddening. However I now realize that I had accumulated friends that suited her, not me, and once she departed so did they. There is no judgement necessary; it was just not a good fit. The company of people dedicated to cooperative self-improvement is much better for me. Perhaps after the next meeting I'll go have a drink with them.

The Heart of the Matter

I listened to this awesome lyric tonight by chance, and captured my current state of heart. As the songwriter put it, "the first person to benefit from forgiveness is the one who does the forgiving".
I was with her for more than 10 years, and I don't anticipate ever being over it, but I do think I can forgive. I would certainly be better off forgiving.


I got the call today, I didn't want to hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are those voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand,
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
People filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
Ah, the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Oh, pride and competition
Cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us, you know it doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live with out you now
But I miss you, baby
And the more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I'd figured out
I have to learn again
I've been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life
Who've come and gone
They let you down
You know they've hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby
'Cause life goes on
You keep carryin' that anger
It'll eat you up inside baby

I've been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me

I've been tryin' to get down
To the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So, I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if , even if you don't love me

Forgiveness, forgiveness, baby
Forgiveness, forgiveness
Forgiveness, forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me
Forgiveness, forgiveness
Forgiveness, forgiveness
Forgiveness, forgiveness

---

Let's see how deep into 2017 I can go without speaking or writing her name. I have a full life and much to do and if I can forgive the loss of 15 years I may find that I have the energy of a young man of 46 ha-ha!

New Year's Resolutions

Well, why not?

• Get back to a healthy weight through a plant-based diet. 
• REASON: I'm not grossly obese but it seems to be pumping up my blood pressure, and that's not good. 
• TASKS: 
• Clear my kitchen of animal-based products and candy. 
• Get a scales and measure daily onto TWINE.
• Manage Spending
• REASON: I want to keep  my home so I have a comfortable retirement
• TASKS
• Build and use 2017 Money spreadsheet to include all spending
• File taxes by end of January
• Keep renters paying on time
• Revise rent as needed
• Develop 3 new friends
• REASON: I need friends. It's obvious
• TASKS:
• Participate fully in Toastmasters - 2 evenings/month
• Participate DAV - 3 weekends/month
• Work - I don't know whether that's a good venue
• YMCA - participate 4 times/week and talk with people every time 
• Neighbors - I'm not sure how to do that
• Refinance home
• REASON: I don't want to lost it at the end of the year
• TASKS:
• File taxes
• Write business plan for home
• Try Gerry Rasmussen
• Try credit unions
• What else?