One Million Presidential Candidates: A New Job Creation Program!

Running For the GOP
Presidential Nomination:
Everyone's Doing It!

The new jobs creation program announced today by the Republican National Committee is simple: recruit one million Americans to run for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination!

"Running for the Republican Presidential ticket has helped me sell a lot of books," said serial candidate Newt Gingrich, "If more people ran for president, they could sell books too!"

"It's not just books," added Herman Cain, failed board member of Aquila Energy. "You can raise money from people without having to worry about giving them a return on their investment. There's always another pack of suckers ready to send you $25. It's like selling pizza only you don't have to provide the pizza!"

Representative Paul Ryan, the brilliant thinker behind the Republican plan to privatize Medicare, explained how it worked. "First, we cut the taxes on the wealthy that have kept them from running for higher office. We then cut the social spending that has discouraged the poor and working class from running for President. Finally, we empower every American to run for President. Some will choose to campaign by purchasing million-dollar ad buys in the media. Others will choose to stand on a street corner asking for campaign contributions. It's the American way!"

Pundits hailed this as a brilliant move. "It came from the Republican Party, so it has to be taken seriously," intoned a man in a suit on television. "Remember, if someone wearing a suit on television tells you something, you are going to believe it!"

#VoucherCare vs. My Marriage

Breast Cancer Walk in Seattle:
VoucherCare would punk
cancer survivors.

The impact on my marriage is the most important part of VoucherCare, the Republican Party's plan to privatize Medicare for people currently under 55.

You may know VoucherCare as Paul Ryan's budget plan, but it's now been accepted by the GOP in the House and Senate, and among all its major Presidential candidates, so it's no longer just Ryan's; it belongs to all Republicans.

I am currently 55 years of age and married to a younger woman. This means my pre-existing conditions are covered under VoucherCare, and hers won't be.
"Sorry about that, hon," I told her. "Be sure to live a healthy lifestyle because if the Republicans get their way, when you retire you'll be looking for health insurance on the private market, and they won't want to cover any preexisting conditions."
"Since your preexisting conditions will be covered," she replied sweetly. "Let's give you a few. We can start with your kneecaps. Where's my bat?"
Now, she doesn't HAVE a baseball bat, so I'm pretty sure she was just messin' with me. But she IS a dead shot with a 9mm, so when she gets out the key for the trigger lock, now THAT would be the time to start running.
But she did get me thinking. The Ryan/Republican plan promises to keep things as they are for us 55-year-olds, so we're not suppose to worry about its impact. But how many other marriages span the VoucherCare divide? Do these Ayn Ryan fans think that we care more for their ideology than we do for our marriages?
What about my brothers and sisters who are also younger than me - am I not supposed to care about what happens to them? If they have preexisting conditions, am I supposed to figure, well, let them find an insurer who will cover them? They can always sell their houses and eat cat food to cover their medical bills?
What about the children of 55-year-olds, or neices and nephews? What about fellow Americans - are we supposed to go, "Hey, tough on you - I'm an old geezer and I'm ok!"?
VoucherCare's attempt to split Americans by age is one of the most cynical and unAmerican things I'd ever heard of. Fortunately, it has zero chance of going anywhere (especially after NY-26), so long as us old geezers care about our younger wives, family and fellow Americans.
Otherwise, I might have to keep an eye on the key to the trigger lock!

Booksale Photos

MITS' first annual booksale, held at (and with huge help from) Mercer Island LDS Church, was a lot of work, but also a lot of fun. Here's a few photos from Friday/Saturday May 20/21, 2011: