Silly Uncle Tricks

SILLY UNCLE TRICKS (Illustrated):

NUMBER ONE: When you find yourself with a child or other person needing entertainment, put the back of your head against a wall (preferably wood or sheetrock; not concrete) and strike your forehead with the heel of your hand. Don't worry: unless you have a prior injury, the forehead is so strong that many martial techniques teach forehead strikes. Because the back of your head is right against the wall, the force travels painlessly through the skullbones into the wall, which makes loud booming sound, generally followed by childish giggles.
And ... if you are lucky ... your sister goes, "Oh, Randy! Sigh!"
LIFE LESSON: You can handle a shock if you put yourself in the right position.

NUMBER TWO:

Challenge the child to put the blade of their foot tight against a door jamb, then to press their shoulder likewise. Then, announce their other foot is paralyzed; and indeed they cannot raise it!
This always works, but lately children have started telling me "Ha ha ha, this is because of center of gravity". They are making smarter kids these days.
LIFE LESSON:
Sometimes when you feel paralyzed, you are just in the wrong place.

NUMBER THREE:
Go outside and get a very long stick. I have a 10 foot bamboo for this purpose but any stick will do, the longer the better. Stand it on your open palm and watch the top, not the bottom.
You will be able to balance it easily!
You should gape with astonishment to really sell this one, but the technique is simple: when the far end starts to get off balance, at first it moves just a little bit, so if you see the problem in time, you need move only a little bit to fix it. That is a LIFE LESSON in itself.

BONUS LIFE LESSON:
Sooner or later, the whole thing may start to get out of control. That's ok; just relax and open your hand. When the stick starts to fall, grab it as it goes by and take a bow.
To know when the trick is over is the ultimate LIFE LESSON and the key to SILLY UNCLE TRICKS.