A Saturday Of Getting Things Done

Composing this post
through my phone!

Today I got a lot of things done. It started with the morning class at the nearest Y. It's a great way to start the day. It's kinda weird driving Kris there what with the upheaval in our relationship and all, but we like to do things together; the only problem is she doesn't want to have a marital relationship. (I've worked through most of the classic Seven Stages and am nearing Acceptance, although still plenty pissed off that she never even tried to make it work.) As we drove to our next task, I introduced the concept of takinga classes or something in getting along so we can work together without unnecessary head bashing; she agreed.

We got to Costco for a phone upgrade. Kris has finally resolved to try smart phones and I'm ready for an upgrade. When we got home, I hooked up the laptops to the cellies and we are now drawing on the phone plan, instead of the cable channel's internet hookup. I've disconnected the home router and look to big savings disconnecting cable. As a side-benefit, I'll now be able to access the internet whereever I have cellphone access. This draws a lot of electricity from the phone but I have a cable that lets it draw power from the laptop, so it's all good.
Most of our conversation as we drove to our various tasks were mundane in the extreme; Kris has gotten me a very nice Christmas gift in the form of a special microwaving dish that I will be able to use to make some pretty interesting stuff. We enjoy talking about food and health.
At Fred Meyers we picked up her new glasses. I think she'll like them as well as I like mine.
On the way home, as we discussed what else we wanted or needed to get done this weekend, I introduced the concept that it was very difficult for me to figure out what she wanted, because she almost never said "I want ....". I suggested that putting all the clues together, there seemed to be some issue deep within her being, perhaps related to the frankly scum that her mother had had for romantic partners throughout Kris' childhood, that had something to do with her difficulty in discussing relationship issue in a timely manner. She seemed to say ... although it's hard to tell ... that she recognizes this as a problem and intends to do something about it. So I can feel good about that; it's way too late to help with our relationship but I do owe her a friend's honest evaluation.
I did add one final relationship-related comment: I stated that I understood the custom was that whoever was leaving the relationship was also the one leaving the house. The person being dumped should at least get the consolation prize of the home. I recognize that Kris was unwilling to accept this custom, and in any event I have proposed a reasonable plan that might meet the needs of both of us, but this had to be said. As I anticipated, Kris would not agree with me but she did have the decency to say, "I understand" which was good enough.
It is irretrievably broken, not because it can't be fixed, but because the will to fix it is not there.

"Let Her Go"

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
Will you let her go?

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

--- Michael David Rosenberg