Michigan State University Cyclotron Story

As an undergrad, I hung around an anti-nuclear group at MSU (...and this is not a pronuke/antinuke story, let's just not go there, I promise there's a politically neutral punch line coming ...). Most of us had a certain look - we were skinny young men who had discovered the pleasure of letting our hair grow out and not shaving. Good times! I was the rare social sciences student in the group; most of the others were into engineering or physics (...and loved to talk about stuff that sounded to me like the grown-ups in a Charlie Brown movie WAWK-WAWK-WAWK! ... their enthusiasm was wonderful, but I digress...
) They were also very good at organizing events - flow charts may have been involved.

At the last meeting I attended, the floor was open for discussion. A guy in the back, wearing the canonical flannel shirt and bluejeans, but with a crewcut and the sort of shoulder muscles you don't get at a keyboard, said, "Hey let's shut down the cyclotron!"

The Chair (physics) looked at the Vice-Chair (engineering). The Vice-Chair looked at the Chair. "Why would anyone do that"?

Crewcut: "It's nuclear, right?"

 
I have never before or since seen a room in which so many eyes rolled back in their heads ....

I still don't understand physics beyond the comicbook level, but I learned a valuable lesson that day:

Whether you're an agent provocateur for Lyndon La Rouche or merely gathering information for the Michigan State Police, it's super important to get your hair right.