I Have Just About Had Enough Of 2013

Let's look at the casualty list:

• My mother, Doris Regina Receveur Winnie
• My father-in-law Larry
• My client, William L. Booker
• My friend Michel Kramer
• My marriage (which technically may have only been a zombie laid to rest once Larry's death freed Kris from being economically dependent on my meager assistance - but since I didn't know it was dead, it was more of a Schrödinger's cat - lively enough so long as we didn't check.)

Various other people are unwell - Charlotte's husband Jim, my sister-in-law's father, many others.

I suppose I should be cheered by the signs of life; our block is chock full of babies - or toddlers now I suppose - who are delightful to see as they grow weekly. But we're still in the dark of the year, and the way forward is quite uncertain, now that I have been betrayed by my partner. 

Relationships can die; that's just a fact. I should have recognized that there was a problem, which Kris absolutely refused do discuss any problem. But what the heck, love and inertia are powerful forces, and it sure seemed like we were building a future together, so to the extent I thought about things we didn't talk about, I figured we'd work it out somehow. After all, we talked ALL THE TIME about the future we were building together. I put a lot of effort into arranging things so that by the time Kris retired, she would have no worries, and asked her at least once a quarter if she was comfortable with my irregular employment (book sales, mystery shopping, etc.) She always said yes, I should continue as is because it enabled me to do my charitable and meaningful work. 

I took her at her word.

That's another thing to leave behind with 2013.