The Ultimate Showdown: Colbert's "Americone Dream" vs. Fallon's "Late Night Snack"

The Champions, Ready for Battle!

I've rarely avoided the political controversies of the day, and The Lovely Wife is pretty tolerant, so when we learned of the latest Mighty Conflict, we dived right in:
Which is better: Stephen Colbert's "Americone Dream" or Jimmy Fallon's "Late Night Snack"?

I learned of this cruel fate, pitting one American against another in remorseless comedy, while watching an amazing demonstration of quantum levitation:

The Colbert Report
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After a demonstration like that, who could remain unmoved? We swiftly purchased one pint of each, and pitted them against each other. Two go in - one comes out.

Or, in this case, both were finished off. We enjoyed both quite a bit, but noticed they were pretty similar. A nice, full-bodied ice cream, with crunchy chocolate-coated bits. The biggest difference seemed to be that the Colbert bits were sugar-cone, and the Fallon bits were salty, like potato chips. Which is better? Surely the Colbert bits were more traditional, but Kris rather likes the edgier salty stuff ... here favorite at Full Tilt Ice Cream is a salted caramel malted.
Thus the conflict remains unresolved, but to keep it from spreading into the marital arena, we decided on a tiebreaker: quantum levitation. We are awaiting the deployment of a supercooled track on which to race the ice creams, and thus make an objective judgment. I'll let you know the results!