Friday, May 16, 2008

1945 vs. 2008

1945: after 4 years of all-out war, America is victorious over the Third Reich, Imperial Japan and Italy. Hitler is dead and our troops are streaming home to a GI Bill.

2008: after 7 years of tax cuts for the rich and no-bid contracts, America is bogged down in Iraq and Afghanistan. Bin Ladin is laughing his ass off while Bush vows to veto a GI Bill.

The difference?

FDR wasn't in it for the money.

BIOWAVE: Biomimicry Solution for Ocean Power

Using biomimicry as the guiding design principle, the Australian firm BioPower Systems has developed Biowave: an ocean power system that harnesses energy by mimicking the motion of underwater plants in the ocean currents to generate electricity.

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Overcompensating on the Pope and Aliens!

From the excellent webcomic Overcompensating:
"You probably heard how the Vatican's head astronomer recently ruined believing in aliens by saying it is actually not necessarily contrary to Scripture.

I believed in aliens before it was cool, back when you had to worry about making God cry for doing it. While I have not ruled out this being part of a vast conspiracy against me by the Pope, I remain weirded out. Oh well, time to find something new to believe in that has absolutely no possibility of ever being embraced by organized religion, like... wow. That's pretty much all there was left wasn't there?

Anyway this is why I don't do history comics because I'm so crazy I actually think "Well it's possible for Star Wars to have existed sometime in the distant past so I'm gonna just make that Real Universe Canon." That's probably why I didn't do good in history either. Anyway pretty much everybody has got at least some 411 on Galileo and Copernicus but not a lot of people know the skinny on Giordano Bruno, the man that got the rawest deal in the history of trying to school some rubes on some science."

Read more --- enjoy the webcomic:

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Free Protection against Computer-Borne STDs

Software-Transmitted Diseases: By now, unless you've never use a computer (in which case how are you reading this?), you know viruses, words and other bad stuff are constantly changing, trying new tricks to break into your computer. They're like biological STDs only faster 'cuz they's electronical, meaning they don't have to wait for the beer goggles to kick in before spreading. They move at the speed of internet, which is somewhat slower than lightspeed but a lot faster than you move after drinking enough to be attracted to the sloppy leftovers at last call ... keeping in mind that if you're still looking at last call, you are sloppy leftovers too!

But enough about YOUR love life; what about your computer?

Chances are, it's underage, but some pervos are trying to infect it anyway. Computer STDs are real clever; you can't stop them with just a condom or smearing your keyboard is Nonoxinil-9. They evolve right around whatever protection you put on, so you need to try a variety of stuff.

This of course is good news for the Computer Condom Industry since the money to be made in fighting a constantly changing threat is muy fantastico. But: it's bad news for you since you gotta keep making your payments or you just might find your lovely little business suddenly burst into flames.

Here's some free computer condoms for you to try:
  • Shields Up! by Gibson Research does free security checking on your PC: Gibson has been in the computer protection business for a long, long time. Why he hasn't sold out, I don't know, but you'll be glad you stopped by his place and tried the product.
  • Nanoscan (a PC Magazine favorite free virus scan), can supplement your existing virus scan:
  • Trend Micro House Call: Now, this one will urge you to buy their product, which is a decision you'll have to make on your own, but a free scan is like free bar snacks. Take all you can, just don't make them the basis of your diet. (note there are separate scans for viruses & for spyware: do both!)

Keith Olberman Special Comment: Bush and Golf

"Do you think these families, Mr. Bush - their lives blighted forever -- care about you playing golf? Do you think, Sir, they care about you? You, Mr. Bush, let their sons and daughters be killed. Sir, to show your solidarity with them - you gave up golf?"

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

GOP Unveils DirtMaster 3000(tm)

The Republican National Committee proudly announced a technological advance in political campaigning: the DirtMaster 3000(tm)!

"Previously, politicians had to throw dirt by hand, or hire lackeys to throw dirt," explained Chief GOP Dirt Officer Karl Rove. "Sometimes there just wasn't enough dirt to cover up real issues, and we'd lose a campaign."

The DirtMaster 3000(tm) overcomes this problem through revolutionary DirtCaster(tm) technology, firing cartridges packed with dirt at a rapid rate to obliterate any target.

"Best of all," said Republican presidential candidate John Sidney McCain III, "I can keep my hands completely clean. I'm not flinging dirt anymore ... I'm bomb bomb bombing Obama! And none of it gets on me!"

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Sunday, May 11, 2008

Lieutenant Worf Endorses Barack Obama For President

WORF: "With Barack Obama's recent victory in North Carolina, and his virtual tie in Indiana's primary, it is time for me to get off the fence. Having traveled back in time to 2008, I announce today my endorsement for Senator Barack Obama (D.-Ill.) and urge you to vote for him in the fall...."

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