Monday, July 30, 2007

GOP To Demand Draft Picks!

WASHINGTON - After total defeat in the 2006 election season, and fielding the weakest team of presidential hopefuls in a century, the Republican Party is demanding Major League Politics institute a draft system for candidates.

"The Democrats are like the Yankees," said a spokesman. "They've attracted just too much talent to make for a competitive game. Meanwhile, our team's player's are all overage or undertalented."

The RNC is demanding two first-round draft picks in compensation for its loss of both the House and the Senate, saying "The only way we can field a competitive lineup is to draft Obama, Edwards or Clinton."

Meanwhile, free-agent Joe Liebermann's contract talks broke down once again over the issue of Iraq. Speaking on condition of anonymity, a spokesman says, "Joe has problems with his eyesight. No-one wants to offer a position to anyone who can't see Iraq is a disaster."