Tuesday, May 13, 2008

GOP Unveils DirtMaster 3000(tm)


The Republican National Committee proudly announced a technological advance in political campaigning: the DirtMaster 3000(tm)!

"Previously, politicians had to throw dirt by hand, or hire lackeys to throw dirt," explained Chief GOP Dirt Officer Karl Rove. "Sometimes there just wasn't enough dirt to cover up real issues, and we'd lose a campaign."

The DirtMaster 3000(tm) overcomes this problem through revolutionary DirtCaster(tm) technology, firing cartridges packed with dirt at a rapid rate to obliterate any target.

"Best of all," said Republican presidential candidate John Sidney McCain III, "I can keep my hands completely clean. I'm not flinging dirt anymore ... I'm bomb bomb bombing Obama! And none of it gets on me!"

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