American Jobs Export Foundation announced its annual United NAFTA Job Export Drive today.
"In the early days of NAFTA," said spokesman Bill Clinton, "Jobs ran easily across the Rio Grande, boosting the Mexican economy. However, the Mexican economy has suffered as its low-cost jobs fled to even lower-cost nations such as China. Americans must dig deeper into their paychecks, and donate more jobs."
Historian George W Bush explained, "For nearly two centuries, Americans used tariffs to equalize the cost of labor between nations. If Mexican wages were so low that a pair of shoes costing $2 to assemble in North Carolina would cost only $1 in Mexico, a dollar tariff could be imposed so that all workers competed on a level playing field. This raised wages both in Mexico (since low wages didn't lead to export advantage) while supporting them in the USA."
In a hushed tone, Bush described the dreadful consequences:
"This pernicious system reduced profits and permitted lazy workers to lives so lavish that a typical family with one wage-earner could afford a decent house in which to raise a large family!"
WTO and NAFTA saved America from that dread fate, by leading to a massive outflow of jobs and much higher profits for exporters to the United States. But Mexico has not benefited, since other nations have even lower wages.
"As a result," chorused Bush and Clinton together, "Americans are called once again to show their support for alleviating poverty.
"More jobs must be donated! Give your job to the United NAFTA Job Export Fund today!"
The Job You Export ... May Be Your Own!