Friday, September 28, 2007

The Atheist and the Zoroastrian

"Our religious beliefs are nearly identical," said the atheist.

"My friend, how can that be?" asked the Zoroastrian.

"Behold, here is a list of 100 Gods: Thor, Zeus, Vishnu, The Great White Spirit, and so on," said the atheist. "Which, if any, do you believe do not exist?"

"Why, 99 of those are complete fictions. Only the great Mazda is real!" proclaimed the Zoroastrian.

"Then we agree 99/100ths of the time," concluded the atheist. "I merely take your principle one god farther."

Thursday, September 27, 2007

9/11.

Yellow cake from Niger

Reconstituted nuclear weapons program.

Chemical weapons.

Mobil biological weapons labs.

We will be greeted with kisses/flowers.

The war will pay for itself.

Mission accomplished.

$25 billion, tops.

The insurgents are in their last throes.

Iran is supplying the sunni insurgents with IEDs.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The 2024 Standardized History Examination


1. When George W Bush ordered the invasion of Iraq, he knew
a) Saddam had no significant quantities of WMDs threatening America
b) The weapons inspectors followed every lead America gave them and found nothing
c) The Italian letter concerning uranium had been forged
d) All of the above.

2. Global Warming is a short phrase denoting the Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Climate Change that has seriously damaged
a) America's shorelines and ports, due to rising oceans
b) America's farmlands, due to changing rain patterns
c) America's security, due to instability in third world nations hit hard by rising oceans and changing rain patterns
d) All of the above.

3. The decline of American global power was due to:
a) Excessive debt owed to global competitors
b) Excessive export of jobs
c) Squandering of American military power in Iraq
d) All of the above.

4. The Republican Party started in the 1850s as a liberal political organization, and between 1990 and 2010 became
a) A criminal enterprise
b) A sex club
c) Extinct
d) All of the above

ANSWER KEY:

1-d
2-d
3-d
4-d

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I. M. Notbush to be 2008 GOP Nominee!

Oddly enough, he'll be leading the winning ticket for the Democrats as well.

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