In a marriage or other serious relationship, serving the partnership is a priority; you can't just go make major decisions without consulting the other partner.
A partner who does that is signaling that the relationship has changed, although the other partner may not notice or may hang on hoping. Hope can be cruel!
But now that I am on my own, I have to learn to make my decisions without the customary consideration of how it affects Kris. This sounds stupid to write after all she has done, but feelings and habits are not rational.
I thought of this on the bus this morning, as I chewed over filing for an extension in my federal income taxes. It'd be nice to have that behind me, but they are especially complicated due to the divorce. I have to apportion the assets (income, withholding) from before the divorce...each of us gets half... and that post divorce. This would not be so bad if I had access to my old spreadsheets but the crash and switch to Mac means I have to learn how Mac Numbers works. I had hoped the lazy way ...TurboTax...would do the trick but, although it seems much better than when I first tried it tears ago, it still doesn't do divorce apportionment.
The logical thing to do is filed an extension. I've done it before and it's no big deal. I thought of telling Kris and realized I don't need to: it is nothing to me. I am sure she counts on me to do her taxes and if she brings the subject up I'll advise an extension, but it is no longer my mission in life to buttress our relationship.
Quite the opposite.