Friday, September 14, 2007

Gondor to withdraw troops from Iraq!


Minas Tirith - One of the remaining nations with troops on the ground in Iraq announced today the withdrawal of its forces there.

"Our corp of elite guards have done all that Men can do", said King Aragorn, son of Arathorn. "We also have concluded that Iraq never had The One Ring of Sauron, and the information provided to us by Gollum was falsified."

A White House spokesman reacted calmly. "Our coalition remains strong. Narnia has promised to keep its centaur staffing the Green Zone visiting center, and we're continuing to receive assistance from Saruman's elite corps of crows."

(more of my spoofs here)
A Whiter Shade of Powell

He did the facts fandango
Turned cartwheels 'cross the war
We were feeling kinda sandsick
But Dick Cheney called out for more
Iraq was burning harder
As the coffins flew away
When George called out for another drink
The Congress brought a tray

And so it was that later
As the general told his tale
That his face, at first just ghostly,
Was a whiter shade of Powell

He said, 'There is no worry
Our progress is plain to see.'
But I wandered through fact checking
The truth would not let it be
But like sixteen vestal virgins
Truth was leaving for the coast
And although my eyes were open
They might have just as well've been closed

He said, 'I'm home on shore leave,'
Though in truth we were at sea
But he took us by Teleprompter
And he forced us to agree
Saying, 'You must be the coward
Who want just to run and hide.'
But he smiled at me so sincerely
That my anger straightway died


And so it was that later
As the general told his tale
That his face, at first just ghostly,
Was a whiter shade of Powell


---Protocol Harem
(With apologies to Keith Reid and Procul Harum)
http://www.procolharum.com/w/w9901.htm

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