Saturday, November 12, 2011

The Ultimate Showdown: Colbert's "Americone Dream" vs. Fallon's "Late Night Snack"

The Champions, Ready for Battle!
I've rarely avoided the political controversies of the day, and The Lovely Wife is pretty tolerant, so when we learned of the latest Mighty Conflict, we dived right in:
Which is better: Stephen Colbert's "Americone Dream" or Jimmy Fallon's "Late Night Snack"?

I learned of this cruel fate, pitting one American against another in remorseless comedy, while watching an amazing demonstration of quantum levitation:
After a demonstration like that, who could remain unmoved? We swiftly purchased one pint of each, and pitted them against each other. Two go in - one comes out.

Or, in this case, both were finished off. We enjoyed both quite a bit, but noticed they were pretty similar. A nice, full-bodied ice cream, with crunchy chocolate-coated bits. The biggest difference seemed to be that the Colbert bits were sugar-cone, and the Fallon bits were salty, like potato chips. Which is better? Surely the Colbert bits were more traditional, but Kris rather likes the edgier salty stuff ... here favorite at Full Tilt Ice Cream is a salted caramel malted.
Thus the conflict remains unresolved, but to keep it from spreading into the marital arena, we decided on a tiebreaker: quantum levitation. We are awaiting the deployment of a supercooled track on which to race the ice creams, and thus make an objective judgment. I'll let you know the results!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Busy Doing Other Stuff ...

Imp stays on top of the news
I've been wondering why I haven't been blogging. I suppose the time I formerly spent blogging here's been taken up
So it's not that I'm not doing any writing; I'm just not doing it here. Maybe that's good, maybe not.

Monday, November 07, 2011

Thirteen Observations made by Lemony Snicket while watching Occupy Wall Street from a Discreet Distance

Thirteen Observations made by Lemony Snicket while watching Occupy Wall Street from a Discreet Distance 
1. If you work hard, and become successful, it does not necessarily mean you are successful because you worked hard, just as if you are tall with long hair it doesn’t mean you would be a midget if you were bald.
2. “Fortune” is a word for having a lot of money and for having a lot of luck, but that does not mean the word has two definitions.
3. Money is like a child—rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.
4. People who say money doesn’t matter are like people who say cake doesn’t matter—it’s probably because they’ve already had a few slices.
5. There may not be a reason to share your cake. It is, after all, yours. You probably baked it yourself, in an oven of your own construction with ingredients you harvested yourself. It may be possible to keep your entire cake while explaining to any nearby hungry people just how reasonable you are.
6. Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they’ve been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.
7. Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with them and have a drink.
8. Don’t ask yourself if something is fair. Ask someone else—a stranger in the street, for example.
9. People gathering in the streets feeling wronged tend to be loud, as it is difficult to make oneself heard on the other side of an impressive edifice.
10. It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.
11. Historically, a story about people inside impressive buildings ignoring or even taunting people standing outside shouting at them turns out to be a story with an unhappy ending.
12. If you have a large crowd shouting outside your building, there might not be room for a safety net if you’re the one tumbling down when it collapses.
13. 99 percent is a very large percentage. For instance, easily 99 percent of people want a roof over their heads, food on their tables, and the occasional slice of cake for dessert. Surely an arrangement can be made with that niggling 1 percent who disagree.

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