Thursday, December 20, 2007

Wexler Wants Hearings - we can help ....

...look at

The charges are too serious to ignore.

If you are a patriotic American who loves our Constitution, go there and DEMAND hearings.

If you are a cowardly, yellow-bellied Bush supporter, too afraid to stand up for the rights our forefathers died to protect ... who cares about you?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Torture Tapes vs. Fraud On The Court

If you say "We have no secret prisons" and

...the judge therefore orders you preserve recordings of torture undertaken at the prison the judge knows about....

...and then you go "Well, we do have secret prisons and we destroyed THOSE tapes."

You cannot argue that the order didn't cover the secret prison tapes.

Because, you see, you got the limitation on the order by lying. That's a "Fraud On The Court".

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Telco Immunity: Tell Your Senator

URGENT: Telecom Immunity Showdown in the Senate!

For more than five years, AT&T and other telephone companies broke the law and violated their customers' privacy rights by sending billions of private domestic internet and telephone communications and records to the National Security Agency.

Now, after months of pressure from the Bush Administration, the full Senate is poised to grant retroactive immunity to these companies, which would effectively ensure that the full extent of their complicity will never be known.

The critical make-or-break vote is being held Monday-- contact your Senator immediately and urge them to oppose telecom immunity!

Senate lawmakers must support Senator Chris Dodd and other heroes in allowing a full debate to proceed on Monday, and they must vote to strip telecom immunity from the bill.

The Senate should not let the telecoms off the hook. Granting immunity sets a dangerous precedent, sending the message that lawbreaking is acceptable and that the rights of Americans can be freely infringed by private companies in defiance of the law. And though the debate about the proper process of collecting foreign intelligence is complex, the issue of telecom immunity is not. The facts are simple enough: the telecoms broke the law, so the Senate should let Americans have their day in court.

1. Complete the form below with your information.
2. Personalize the subject and text of the message on the right with your own words, if you wish.
3. Click the Send Your Message button to send your letter to these decision makers:

* Your Senators

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Tapes Destroyed? What Tapes Destroyed?

"We are told that the CIA tapes were destroyed in 2005.

Now, what tapes are these DOJ lawyers examining in September and October of 2007?

Please take a look at this memo, HERE

" you see anything that says that the tapes were a) destroyed and b) in 2005?

I am sure someone has a logical answer to this. I am, unfortunately, not that person. Anyone?...."

A tip o' the hat to Larry Johnson at No Quarter:

Monday, December 10, 2007

A "Made In America" Christmas

Would you have any idea how to do it?

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Conventions That Matter?

What if no candidate has 50% of the delegates by the end of primary/caucus season?

It's entirely possible that the top 3 in both the Democrats and the Republicans will split most of the delegates, with a few delegates going to the 2nd-tier candidates.

Instead of a head-to-head Presidential candidate starting March 2008, we may have to wait until the fall. The convention may actually matter, as the candidates and delegates negotiate.

Would this be such a bad thing?

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

"My purpose is this ... "

"... that should these United States endure for a thousand years, no man of good will and common sense shall trust the word of the President ever again."

-- George W Bush
(Actions Speak Louder Than Words!)

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

"And Iran" by Flock of Chickenhawks

"And Iran" by Flock of Chickenhawks

I walked Pennsylvania avenue.
I never thought I'd meet a man like you;
Meet a man like you.
With auburn beard and tawny eyes;
The kind of eyes that hypnotize me through;
Lots of oil too!

And I ran, I ran to invade.
I just ran, I ran a war charade.
An Oil War crusade.

A crowd is speaking in my head;
I hear the voices tell me what to do,
Wolfowitz and Cheney too.
A barrel's price is higher still.
A Saudi Royal comes in view;
Saudi comes in view.

And I ran, I ran an oil crusade.
Next is Iran, Iran all night and day.
Our troops will pay and pay.

Reached for a war on Iran too;
It's slowly disappearing from my view;
The NIE says, "Foo!"
Still got a year to try again;
I'm floating in a dream of oil with you;
A scheme to oil with you.

And I ran, I ran my oil crusade.
And my fans, fell for my mad charade.
Sure I've got it made!


With apologies to "A Flock Of Seagulls"

Saturday, December 01, 2007

The Golden Compass: There's Gold in That There Dust!

I just got out of a sneak preview for "The Golden Compass" and am happy to report it is not just a solid adaptation, but a fine movie in its own right.

The soul of the book is in the movie: its sense of fun seriousness, on a scale that ranges effortlessly from a gob of mud in a child's hand to the entire multiverse.

Visually, it is delightful, as if Maxfield Parrish had discovered steampunk.The quick and efficient script omits what it must (as is usual in adapting a book to the big screen) yet adds much by the fact of acting (who could be a better Mrs. Coulter than Nicole Kidman? Her first smile tells us all we think we need to know.)

I find it very respectful of the audience for the film not to explain too much. For example, book has to have Iorek explain to Lyra how his duel with Ragnar ends, since there are no images except that created in the mind. The movie just has it happen; viewers must figure it out by comparing his state just before the climactic blow and to that immediately afterwards.

The daemons, by literally exposing a person's soul, take the place of soliloquies or comic sidekicks. The story also goes faster because it keeps its secrets. It is a tale of discovery, and not all the discoveries have been made by its end. Besides, the protagonist is a young teen from whom The Adults Are Keeping Secrets; it's delightful that the audience shares the protagonist's mystification. Who should Lyra be trusting anyway?

I see that some critics complain that it's anti-Christian. I suspect that if the movie had dressed its Authority in desert robes and had it issue fatwas, they would be applauding it, or at least feeling smug. Surely institutional churches should have by now realized the error of assuming unto themselves the supremacy of God; history shows that never goes well, and that is basically the theology of the work.

But, anyway, it's only a movie (and the book is only a book). Surely "The True God" cannot be harmed by such, and in fact would be amused to have so serious a discussion of the nature of the soul, of Good and Evil, of Authority and Free Will.

I hope the trilogy is completed. But should it fail through an irrational Boxoffice or by the intercession of a justly enraged Authority, the sheer coolness of the film should turn viewers to the books, which further exposes them to the perils of Dust.

P.S. You could view this as the start of a triology about the ultimate dysfunctional family.

* The Golden Compass (movie)
* The Golden Compass (book) Random House site
* Critics say ‘The Golden Compass’ is an atheist agenda disguised in fantasy Kansas City Star
* My Golden Compass Sets a True Course

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Super W Blow!

[ fade in on a nation, eating White House propaganda ]

Announcer: Hold it! Is that what you're having for propaganda?

Man: Sure, haven't you heard? Propaganda is really good for you.

Announcer: Well, there's Propaganda, and then there's George W. Try this.

[ offstage hands replace cereal box with "W Blow" box ]

Man: Hmm.. "W Blow". Sounds delicious. But is it really higher in Propaganda than my old GOP?

Announcer: Take a guess: How many speechs of your old GOP would it take to equal the propaganda content of one speech by "W Blow"?

Man: Two?

Announcer: Guess again.

Man: Three?

Announcer: A little higher.

Man: Four?

Announcer: Keep trying.

Man: Five?

Announcer: No, you'll have to do better than that.

Man: Seven?

Announcer: Guess again.

Man: Eight?

Announcer: We'll give you one more guess.

Man: Nine.

Announcer: Not even close. [ table starts shaking ] It would take over 30,000 speeches.
[ a giant pyramid of W shoots up from under the man, who yells in terror as it rises ]
To get that much propaganda, you'd have to eat ten lies a day, every day for seven or more years.

Man: Wow! I think I get the picture! "W Blow" must be the biggest GOP liar on the market!

Announcer: Not any more, now that there's new "Super W Blow".

Man: "Super W Blow"?

[ pyramid rises even higher with the man screaming ]

Announcer: It would take over two and a half million speechs of your old GOP to equal the propaganda content of one bowl of "Super W Blow".

[ pyramid settles ]

Man: I'm convinced! [ looks down the pyramid in panic ]

[ cut to close-up of bowl with "W Blow" and "Super W Blow" boxes ]

Jingle: "W Blow and you-u-u-u in the morning"

Announcer: W Blow and new Super W Blow.

Voiceover: Warning: may cause death. Consult a mental health professional.

[ fade to black ]


(with affection memories of the great Phil Hartman : )

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Going Green is FUN!

Sure, it’s a challenge, but challenges are fun. Yes, it take thought and ingenuity, but so does winning levels at any game.

World of Warcraft and Age of Empires are great, but Greening Earth is a game we play for real money and real treasure!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Portuguese As A 21st Century Language

When George W Bush mocked the Portuguese Language (calling a program to encourage its study "wasteful" and "pork"), was he just showing his ignorance of its strategic significance?

Portuguese is the dominant language of the fifth-largest nation in the world: Brazil. It is the largest and most powerful democracy in South America, and a leader in energy independence.

Bush's wars in the Middle East have suffered because of America's ignorance on Arabic and other languages, e.g. Parsee. Is he really too stupid to see that, in the 21st century, America needs to study the languages of ALL major countries?


Friday, November 09, 2007

Rudy vs. Hillary on family values

Hillary: "My husband cheated on me, but I kept my family together."

Rudy: "I cheated on my wife, so I broke my family up. Then I cheated on my next wife, so I broke my family up again. I'll probably cheat on my next next wife ... ."

Who represents "family values"?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Lying About Deficits (A Parable)

Some fools say that deficits aren't bad if the deficit is less than "average".
To explain how stupid that is, let's use some rough numbers (not necessarily accurate, but they show the concept).

Once upon a time, wanted to borrow some money to cover operating expenses (not investments).

Its CEO, Reagan, wanted to borrow 2% of its income. The Banks said "You're up to 10% of your income, fine."
Then Reagan wanted3% more of its income. The Banks said "You're up to 13% of your income."
Then its CEO, Reagan, borrowed 4% more of its income. The Banks said "You're up to 17% of your income."
Then Reagan wanted 4% more. The Banks said "You're up to 21% of your income."
Then Reagan wanted 4% more. Banks said "You're up to 25% of your income."
Then Reagan wanted 4% more. Banks said "You're up to 29% of your income."
Then Reagan wanted 3% more. Banks said "You're up to 32% of your income."
Then Reagan wanted 3% more. Banks said "You're up to 35% of your income."

Then got a new CEO, Bush.

Bush wanted 3% more. Banks said "You're up to 38%."
Bush wanted 4% more. Banks said "You're up to 42%."
Bush wanted 4% more. Banks said "You're up to 46%."
Bush wanted 5% more. Banks said "You're up to 51%."

Then got a new CEO, Clinton.
Clinton continued to borrow, but less and less until finally he started paying off the debt.

Then got a new CEO, W.

W wanted 1% more. Banks said "You're up to 52%."
W wanted 3% more. Banks said "You're up to 55%."
W wanted 4% more. Banks said "You're up to 59%."
W wanted 4% more. Banks said "You're up to 63%."
W wanted 4% more. Banks said "You're up to 67%."

Then W wanted to borrow another 3%. Why not? 3% more is less than the AVERAGE of the past decades.

The banks said, "WHAT???? ARE YOU CRAZY??? You're DEEP in DEBT. The AVERAGE of what you borrow per year means NOTHING; in assessing your credit worthiness, how much you owe is more important."

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Bush: "Jesus Was Not Tortured!!!"

According to the Bybee memo, it's not torture unless there's organ failure.

NONE of Jesus's organs failed. Whippings do not cause organ failure, and crucifixion is DESIGNED to keep the victim ALIVE for days.

Jesus died unexpectedly, early in the process, after only a few hours on the cross.

By Bush's logic, there was no torture.

Just "Death By Natural Causes"

Friday, November 02, 2007

How Bush Plans to Escape Jail ... And What To Do About It

George W Bush knows he's committed many felonies. (It's not worth arguing the point; if you are still in denial about his lying to Congress, felony FISA violations, participation in a conspiracy to out a spy in time of war, and so on ... this is not for you.)

Think like he does. Bush knows he's got a problem, or at least his advisers do. George may be too arrogant or, more likely, more added from decades of coke and booze to realize he's being fitted for an orange jumpsuit, but his cronies know that the day he goes into a cell is the day he testifies against them. So how does Bush avoid prosecution for his many felonies?

What would YOU do if you were he?

The Libby Obstruction of Justice and Perjury case points the way. Bush plans to get a pardon! Of course he can't give it to himself.

But he can pardon Cheney on the night before Bush leaves office. Then, Bush can himself resign. Why not?

Cheney is then sworn in, and pardons Bush. Who's gonna stop them?

The theory is that now each have pardons and can flick their fingers at the justice system!

The hole in the theory is this: pardons cover only past crimes, not future crimes or crimes committed in the act of issuing a pardon.

Any otherwise legal act becomes a crime if committed in furtherance of another crime, including a past crime. This is the basis of the crime of "conspiracy". Issuing a pardon (or other executive clemency, e.g. commuting Libby's sentence) for the purpose of obstructing justice ... or as the culmination of a plan to commit crimes such as lying to Congress ... is an act of conspiracy. The act of giving or receiving a pardon cannot wipe out the crime committed in giving or receiving the pardon.

It is important to spread this idea about. Conventional Wisdom is that America will be happy to let George and Dick go on vacation with their ill-gotten gains, their crimes forgotten by the same pardon process that kept Nixon out of jail.

But it does not have to be that way. If we expect the conspiracy, we can rob it of its effectiveness.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Lucky Penny Theory of Investing.

1. Get 1024 pennies.

2. Every morning, ask them "Will the market go UP (Heads) or DOWN (Tails)" and flip them all.

3. If the market goes UP, discard the Tails; If the market goes DOWN, discard the Heads. (On average, you will discard half your pennies).

4. The next day, if you have more than 1 penny left, go back to step 2.

5. At this point, you have 1 penny left. This penny has SUCCESSFULLY predicted something like 10 DAYS of market performance.

This is your LUCKY PENNY! It is clearly more successful than any human at predicting the market!

Give it a salary and a bonus.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Giulidammerung: Twilight of the GOP

Giulidammerung is the last of the four opera that comprise Der Riun des Reagenungen (The Ruin of Reaganism), by Richard Viguerie. It received its premiere at the RNC Konventionhaus on September 1, 2008.

The title refers to a prophesied war of the corporatists which brings about the end of the GOP.

The three Pollsters, daughters of MSM, gather beside the 35W bridge, weaving the rope of Conventional Wisdom that binds even the gods.

Act I

The act begins in the Hall of the Republicans, a people visiting Minneapolis.
GeorgeW, lord of the Republicans, sits enthroned but everyone is embarassed to be seen with him in public.

Rudyfried arrives, disguised as Reagan, and claims the nomination for the Oval Office of Power.

Act II

Norquist, waiting by the bank of the Mississippi, is visited in his sleep by his spiritual father, Reagan. He swears that no New York, pro-abortion, anti-gun flip-flopping liberal shall have the Oval.


In the cemetary at Arlington, the Rheinwidows mourn their lost troops.
Rudyfried happens by; they urge him to bring the troops home and avoid Iraq's curse, but he ignores their tidings of doom.

They swim away, predicting that Rudyfried will fail and that his heir, a lady, will treat them more fairly.

The cemetary overflows its banks, engulfing Rudyfried as the GOP bursts into flames.

The curtain falls.

Friday, September 28, 2007

The Atheist and the Zoroastrian

"Our religious beliefs are nearly identical," said the atheist.

"My friend, how can that be?" asked the Zoroastrian.

"Behold, here is a list of 100 Gods: Thor, Zeus, Vishnu, The Great White Spirit, and so on," said the atheist. "Which, if any, do you believe do not exist?"

"Why, 99 of those are complete fictions. Only the great Mazda is real!" proclaimed the Zoroastrian.

"Then we agree 99/100ths of the time," concluded the atheist. "I merely take your principle one god farther."

Thursday, September 27, 2007



Yellow cake from Niger

Reconstituted nuclear weapons program.

Chemical weapons.

Mobil biological weapons labs.

We will be greeted with kisses/flowers.

The war will pay for itself.

Mission accomplished.

$25 billion, tops.

The insurgents are in their last throes.

Iran is supplying the sunni insurgents with IEDs.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The 2024 Standardized History Examination

1. When George W Bush ordered the invasion of Iraq, he knew
a) Saddam had no significant quantities of WMDs threatening America
b) The weapons inspectors followed every lead America gave them and found nothing
c) The Italian letter concerning uranium had been forged
d) All of the above.

2. Global Warming is a short phrase denoting the Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Climate Change that has seriously damaged
a) America's shorelines and ports, due to rising oceans
b) America's farmlands, due to changing rain patterns
c) America's security, due to instability in third world nations hit hard by rising oceans and changing rain patterns
d) All of the above.

3. The decline of American global power was due to:
a) Excessive debt owed to global competitors
b) Excessive export of jobs
c) Squandering of American military power in Iraq
d) All of the above.

4. The Republican Party started in the 1850s as a liberal political organization, and between 1990 and 2010 became
a) A criminal enterprise
b) A sex club
c) Extinct
d) All of the above



Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I. M. Notbush to be 2008 GOP Nominee!

Oddly enough, he'll be leading the winning ticket for the Democrats as well.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

WPTL Year That Was

I just put together an annual report for the
Washington State Bar Association World Peace Through
Law Section, whose educational program I run as a

I'm rather proud of our speaker list, and hope that
you may find some of the links of interest. Here's the
short version:

September (2006): Attorney Julia Bolz.
In 1998, Bolz left her partnership with Ryan, Swanson
and Cleveland in Seattle to provide legal and policy
development assistance in Africa, Central America and
Central Asia.

Recently, Julia has worked to address the plight of
Afghani girls who have long suffered under the
Taliban's repressive policies toward women. Julia
founded the Journey for Afghan Schools program to
establish cultural ties between Afghanistan and U.S.
schools. With Julia's leadership, and aided by
donations from Seattle students, eight schools for
girls have been constructed, and five restored, in

October: Professor Joel Ngugi & Judge Patricia Paul.
They spoke on the relationship between International
Law and the Rights of Indigenous People, based on
their experience in Kenya and on American

November: Attorney Phillip Ginsberg and Jen Marlow.
He presented the law of genocide, followed by Jen on
the facts about Darfur. You may have seen Jen's
documentary "Darfur Diaries":

December: Our Year-End Roundup of Human Rights
* David Horn Member of Lambda Legal ( ) gave an update on
Marriage Equality Legislation and Case Law in the
United States and Abroad
He was both erudite and witty, nothing that while
Jeffrey Daumer had the right to marry, he himself did
not since, apparantly being the greater threat to

* Lincoln Miller & Robin Nielsen of the Rural
Development Institute ( told
of their innovation use of Land Law in Poverty
Alleviation, primarily in South Asia.

* Diane Atkinson spoke on the integration of Public
Health and Human Rights. We take a lot of basic public
health matters for granted here (e.g. water and
sewage) but, where they are lacking, the basic right
to life is in trouble.

January: A panel of American veterans (a JAG, a judge,
and three grunts) discussed "What Is An Illegal

The black-letter law is much simpler than the reality
as experienced by the troops.

March: Professor Mary Patricia Treuthart.
What's it like teaching law in Kosovo.

April: Attorney Matt Harris
Department of Peace legislation. See and

May: Beth Rivin & Roslyn Solomon
Using international human rights law to improve health
systems from South Africa to Tacoma.

June: Salvador Tinajero, Consul of Mexico.
Litigating in The Inter-American Human Rights System
to improve human rights in Mexico

July: Participants in the UW Guatemala Project.
"The Shifting Terrain of Human Rights in Contemporary
Guatemala". This is a wholly remarkable project, which
gives me hope for our new generation.

August: Professors Menhajuddin Hamed, Mohammad Haroon
Mutasem, Wali Mohammad Naseh, Humayoun Rahimi of the
law schools in Kabul and Mazur-e-Sharif.
In town for the Asian Law Program ( ), they
discussed juggling constitutional, religious and
traditional law.
For example, textual conflicts between their
constitution's gaurantee of equal rights for women
(something, ahem, the US constitution could use...)
and gender differences defined by religion are usually
less important in a village than the traditional
culture, which is usually very sexist.
They also pointed out that "Islamic Law" differs from
place to place; just as Christianity has a variety of
sects, so does Islam.
Many thing done in the name of Islam are actually
matter of culture.
Difficult texts (such as the penalty for apostacy) are
worked out differently by different scholars (Islam
has no "Pope" running things) so there's quite a
struggle going on over the hard parts.
They explained that what Afghanistan needs is peace
and education - a perfect system can wait until a good
system is working.

Well, that was the year that was. The upcoming year
should be interesting as well.
If you ever get the chance to meet any of the people
above, don't pass it by. "Life is what happens while
you're making other plans."

Oh yeah you can get more info on the above programs:

Friday, September 14, 2007

Gondor to withdraw troops from Iraq!

Minas Tirith - One of the remaining nations with troops on the ground in Iraq announced today the withdrawal of its forces there.

"Our corp of elite guards have done all that Men can do", said King Aragorn, son of Arathorn. "We also have concluded that Iraq never had The One Ring of Sauron, and the information provided to us by Gollum was falsified."

A White House spokesman reacted calmly. "Our coalition remains strong. Narnia has promised to keep its centaur staffing the Green Zone visiting center, and we're continuing to receive assistance from Saruman's elite corps of crows."

(more of my spoofs here)
A Whiter Shade of Powell

He did the facts fandango
Turned cartwheels 'cross the war
We were feeling kinda sandsick
But Dick Cheney called out for more
Iraq was burning harder
As the coffins flew away
When George called out for another drink
The Congress brought a tray

And so it was that later
As the general told his tale
That his face, at first just ghostly,
Was a whiter shade of Powell

He said, 'There is no worry
Our progress is plain to see.'
But I wandered through fact checking
The truth would not let it be
But like sixteen vestal virgins
Truth was leaving for the coast
And although my eyes were open
They might have just as well've been closed

He said, 'I'm home on shore leave,'
Though in truth we were at sea
But he took us by Teleprompter
And he forced us to agree
Saying, 'You must be the coward
Who want just to run and hide.'
But he smiled at me so sincerely
That my anger straightway died

And so it was that later
As the general told his tale
That his face, at first just ghostly,
Was a whiter shade of Powell

---Protocol Harem
(With apologies to Keith Reid and Procul Harum)

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Iraq deaths DOWN to 1809 from 1760!

Washington - The White House announced today that Iraqi civilian deaths decreased in August to 1806, from 1760 in July.

A reporter who asked how an increase of over 40 represented a decrease was escorted to the door and beaten. The rest of the media asked about Barney and the upcoming wedding of Bush's daughter.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

POP QUIZ: Dr. Clinton & Dr. Bush

Some people have difficulty understanding how Clinton could drop the poverty rate from 15% to 11%, and Bush raise it from 11% to 12%, and yet Bush's average poverty rate is lower than Clinton's.

It's like this. Imagine the economy is an ER and sick patients are the unemployed.

When Dr. Clinton came into the ER, there were 15 sick patients.

He cured 4 and sent them home, leaving 11 sick patients.

Dr. Clinton turned the ER over to Dr. Bush.

Dr. Bush kicked two janitors in the balls. The janitors were admitted with ruptures, bringing the ER to 13 patients.

Dr. Bush then discharged 1 patient, leaving 12 patients.

QUESTION 1: which Dr. had the lower average number of patients?

QUESTION 2: which Dr. was the better at his job?

Monday, August 27, 2007

GOP Book of Proverbs Chapter One:

"If At First You Don't Recall ... Lie, Lie Again!"

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Bush Administration logic:

1. The people have no right to information about their government

2. People who have no information about their government don't know that their government has done anything wrong

3. People who don't know that their government has done anything wrong have no right to complain


You have no right to complain

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Two Best Things About Every Major GOP Candidate ...

... is his position on any particular issue.


It sounds like a joke, but Guiliani, Romney, Thompson and McCain are the most amazing flip-floppers in the history of flipfloppery.

Kinda funny, really.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Bush is the First President ....

... with criminal record.

... to be a cheerleader.

... to be a known drug addict.

... to have gone Awol from the military.

... to have been rejected from every law school he ever applied to.

... to start two wars that he was unable to win.

... who had never published anything, not even so much as a letter to the editor.


D.A.R.E. is right!!!!

( with thanks to friends on Craigslist)

Monday, July 30, 2007

GOP To Demand Draft Picks!

WASHINGTON - After total defeat in the 2006 election season, and fielding the weakest team of presidential hopefuls in a century, the Republican Party is demanding Major League Politics institute a draft system for candidates.

"The Democrats are like the Yankees," said a spokesman. "They've attracted just too much talent to make for a competitive game. Meanwhile, our team's player's are all overage or undertalented."

The RNC is demanding two first-round draft picks in compensation for its loss of both the House and the Senate, saying "The only way we can field a competitive lineup is to draft Obama, Edwards or Clinton."

Meanwhile, free-agent Joe Liebermann's contract talks broke down once again over the issue of Iraq. Speaking on condition of anonymity, a spokesman says, "Joe has problems with his eyesight. No-one wants to offer a position to anyone who can't see Iraq is a disaster."

Thursday, July 12, 2007

What if Superman wakes up one day, and decides he's gonna Destroy All Evil?

Why not? He's the Sole Remaining Superpower and the Champion of Truth, Justice & The American Way.

So he goes and smashes a dictatorship. BAM! Nobody does it like The Superman does it!

The people are grateful.

But Supes --- he won't go home.

He figures, the people he liberated aren't ready to take care of their stuff. So he's gonna do it.

And he's standing there, thinking, and this car comes toward him. He shouts "STOP!" in his super-voice but they don't stop, so he zaps it with his heat vision, in self defense. It's not HIS fault if they don't speak English!!!

Some old guy starts complaining about the dead people in the car. Superman knows people understand that he means well and mistakes just happen.

Since Superman smashed the dictator's electricity plants, it gets all dark and stuff but that's o.k. Anyone out after dark is probably a lawbreaker and he hits them hard. SPLAT! The people should feel safer now.

The place starts to smell bad. Superman remembers that he broke the water system while he was fighting the dictator. There's Shit All Over - what is wrong with these people ????!!!!

The people over here are hard to tell apart. They've got mustaches and don't wear super suits with their hero ID on the chest, so sometimes Superman's not sure who's with him and who's against him.

Then someone told Superman that the guy on the next street had kryptonite, so Superman blew up the whole block in self-defense. Boy were the neighbors mad at Superman! They told Superman the informant was helping the evil General Zod. Now Superman is confused, but he sure can't leave while people are all mad at him.

After a while, the people decide they need help.

Who else can they turn to but Lex Luthor? Lex is a very bad man but what else can they do?

Superman keeps trying to "help". He won't leave so long as there's a single liberated person seeking help from the evil Lex Luthor.

Now what is Superman gonna do?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

"Landslide" by Dixie Bush

"Ah took my nation and Ah took it down.
Ah asked Dick Cheney to turn it around
Ah Accomplished my Mission in a big photo op
Till the landslide brought me down.

Oh, Cheney is the guy
Who runs the gov.
Can the Decider in my heart rise above?
Can I sail thru the changing angry tides,
Can I handle the outing of my lies?

Well, Ah've been afraid of changing 'cause Ah built my term around Iraq
Mah crimes made you smolder
Democrats get bolder
I'm gonna fold or crack.


Well, Ah've been afraid of changing 'cause Ah built my term around Iraq
The facts makes them bold for
The Congress got told, ahr,
I'm gonna fold or crack.
Well Dick sold us out for PNAC.

So, take mah crimes and take me down
Yeah and if you vote impeachment and you bring me down
And if Ah bungled Mah Mission in the oil-covered sands
Well the landslide brought me down
And if Ah bungled Mah Mission in the oil-covered sands
Well maybe
Well maybe the landslide will make me frown."

with apologies to

Sunday, July 08, 2007

If George Jr. Was Your Ex ...

Let us say that your ex tells the cops that you have a stolen car, using the following evidence:

1. She said you had a car in 1998 (shortly before she blew it up ... she doesn't mention the blowing up part).

2. She shows satellite photos of the car at your place of work, but when detectives went there, it turned out that it wasn't your place of work at all or your car. She says this only proves you were hiding something.

3. You were found shopping for an air compressor; she says there is no use for an air compressor other than inflating the tires in a car.

4. A British girlfriend gave her a forged document showing that you sought to purchase kerosine. When the forgery was found out, she said they had other information on this subject. She didn't mention this other information was a conversation you had with a gas station owner in which you did not discuss kerosine.

5. She sent detectives to all the places that we knew you had a car. In your garage? no. On the street in front of your house? no. She gave them many leads, all of which lead to nothing. That is in itself proves you have a stolen car.

6. On the basis of this undisputed evidence that you have a stolen car, she burned down your entire neighborhood so that you couldn't use the stolen car she said you had.

7. In general, the statements she made about your car put her in a very strong position to accomplish her domestic political purposes. So long as your neighborhood is on fire, the fire department would do anything she asks ... and the City Council will have to go along, lest she accuse them of not supporting the Fire Department.

NOW: how could any reasonable person come to any
conclusion other than that your ex can be trusted?

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Then And Now ...

They said cigarettes didn't cause cancer.
They said blacks shouldn't be able to vote and or marry whites.
They said that if we didn't keep fighting in Vietnam, the Commies will invade California.

Now ...
They say Global Warming is a hoax.
They say Valerie Plame wasn't a covert agent hunting WMDs.
They say that if we don't occupy Iraq, the Muslims will invade Hoboken.

What will they say next?

Thursday, July 05, 2007

The Hole in the Commutation/Pardon Plan

Any otherwise legal act becomes a crime when done in an act of bribery, in obstruction of justice, or in the commission of other crimes.

For example, it is perfectly legal for you to drive a car. But if you knowingly drive a car transporting a bank robber away from his crime, you are guilty of a crime.

Libby's acceptance of the commutation was in furtherance of obstruction of justice, and in exchange for his silence. That's 2 new crimes for him, not covered by the commutation, and 2 new crimes for Bush.

In addition, the pardon power at the time the constitution was drafted did not cover the furtherance of a conspiracy to protect the Executive from future prosecution. It was intended to be an act of mercy for past crimes not related to the person granting the pardon. Just as no man may be a judge in his own case, no executive may grant a pardon in a matter that had put him in legal jeopardy.
A Priest, a minister, and Scooter Libby ...

... walk into a bar.

Pretty soon they're all wasted and start busting the joint up.

"Oh, my!" said the minister, "I broke a table. But Jesus will forgive me in the morning."

"Oh, my!" said the priest, "I broke a chair. But I can give myself absolution right now."

"Oh, you are such losers!" sneered Scooter Libby. "I can break every law in the book, and George W Bush will pardon me in November!"

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

LibyLwyr: Sctr's getn antzy.

LibyLwyr: hz mmry's gtin' btr

TheAnglr: Duz e rcal anytng?

LibyLwyr: Wht d'U thnk?

TheAnglr: w8

LibyLwyr: e rcalz Fitz fon#

TheAnglr: ok GWB signd

LibyLwyr: ty

LibyLwyr: Sctr rcalz nting

TheAnglr: lol

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

1947 v. 2007

1947: six years after Pearl Harbor, America is victorious everywhere and at peace for two years. Hitler is dead, and Tojo about to be executed.

2007: six years after 9/11, America is bogged down in Afghanistan & Iraq, with peace at least ten years in the future. bin Ladin is laughing his ass off!

The difference:

FDR was in it to win.

The House of Bush and Saud are in it for the money.

Friday, June 22, 2007

How The Con Works

Atop the table on the sidewalk are three cups.

The man puts a ball under the cup labeled "Iraq".
Next to it are "Iran" and "Korea".

"The first round is free!" he says. "It'll pay for itself! Trust me!"

So you say, ok, I'll play.

He moves the cups around, back and forth.
When they stop, you pick "Iraq".
OK, the ball's there.

"Ready to play?"

So you plonk down the ante.
$100 Billion dollars.
100,000 cases of PTSD
10,000 wounded.
1000 dead.

America's safety goes under a cup. He moves them around and around.

Pick the cup.

Wait! It's not there!
Try another cup?

"Sure, ante up again."
More dollars.
More wounded.
More dead.

Missed again! But now you see how he does it.

Ante up again.
Missed it again!
But next time, you will win for sure!

The game goes on.
It will go on as long as you care to play.


You are an honest, decent citizen.
You do not understand how cons work.
The ball is not under any of the cups.
The ball is in his hand all the time.

As long as the game continues, you keep giving him money.
Why would he want the game to stop?

Why do you want to keep playing his game?

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Republican Party to Quit the GOP

Washington (AP) - Faced with a complete abandonment of traditional conservative principles and a revolt among the rank-and-file, the Republican Party announced today that it is leaving the GOP.

"We can no longer remain in an organization headed by a President who believes in large, intrusive government," said a spokesman. "The GOP has lead America into a morass of costly foreign adventures and no-knock warrants. We don't stand for that."

White House spokesman Tony Snow dismissed the statement. "George W Bush has never been a member of the Republican Party, regardless of what those liberals want you to think."

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Lawrence of Arabia Said...

"Do not try to do too much with your own hands. Better the Arabs do it tolerably than that you do it perfectly.

It is THEIR war, and you are to help them, not to win it for them.

Actually, also, under the very odd conditions of Arabia, your practical work will not be so good as, perhaps, you think it is."

T.E.Lawrence, August 20, 1917

Saturday, June 16, 2007

The Darfur Wall

Four hundred thousand numbers cover the The Darfur Wall. Each represents a victim of genocide in Darfur, Sudan. By donating $1 or more, you can turn a number from dark gray to brilliant white and honor one lost life.

The Darfur Wall has raised over $50,000 from donors in 30 countries. 100% of the proceeds benefit four Darfur relief organizations: Doctors Without Borders, Save Darfur, Save the Children, and the Sudan Aid Fund.

C'mon, it's only a dollar:

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

2008 Hurricane Names

Office of Special Planning
United Arab Emirates
Voter Intimidation
eXecutive Priviledge

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Happy Mother's Day for Peace!

Did you know that that Mother's Day in the United States was originally a woman's movement for peace. In 1870, Julia Ward Howe (best known for writing the "Battle Hymn of the Republic") published a Mother's Day Proclamation in reaction to the carnage of the American Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War.

It didn't catch on, but her daughter Anna Jarvis continued and until in 1914 President Woodrow Wilson declared the first national Mother's Day, as a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died in war.

Sadly the U.S. holiday became so commercialized that Anna Jarvis herself became a major opponent of what the holiday had become. But we can take it back.

Happy Mother's Day, one and all!


Thursday, May 10, 2007

Remember when troops were promised

...they'd get a year in the USA between deployments?

That was a solid promise, issued last month, sort of a bargain made in exchange for increasing deployments to 15 months.

Well, that promise didn't last 30 days before being broken, according to an article in Stars And Stripes:

"Members of the 1st Armored Division’s 1st Battalion, 6th Infantry, Company A, learned Tuesday that they are scheduled to head back to Iraq in November, just nine months after the 150-soldier company left the combat zone in February ..."

Support the troops for real, not fake.

Friday, May 04, 2007

As a liberal, I believe that any American who works full-time should be able to:

  • Support a family with 2 or 3 kids, without the spouse having to work
  • Have decent health & dental care for the family
  • Have a paid vacation and sick time
  • Have a decent retirement at a reasonable age.
Now, we can quibble about the details. But anyone who does not agree with the above is simply anti-family and, I believe, not a good American.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Washington, D.C. - The Department of Education reports a new crisis in our schools, as literally millions of students are turning in tests filled with the identical answer: "I don't recall."

"This began late last week," said a spokesman, "Apparently, teenagers in particular got the idea that they could not be penalized if they answered every question 'I don't recall'. When teachers ask for a more complete response, they just get more of the same."

Educators are mystified about the rapid spread of this problem.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Brilliant Predictions

" This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us"
-- Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper"
-- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances."
-- Dr. Lee DeForest, "Father of Radio &Grandfather of Television."

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" -- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom."
-- Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers ."
-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
-- Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
-- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out"
-- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles

"But what .. is it good for?"
-- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates, 1981

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible,"
-- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make"
-- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.

*But haven't all these predictionsbeen eclipsed by Bush Adminstration predictions on Iraq?

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Gozales Drinking Game

Washington DC - The American Medical Association issued an emergency bulletin as ERs were flooded nationwide with cases of alcohol poisoning due to the "Gonzales Drinking Game".

"It seemed so simple," sobbed a distraught coed, whose stomach had been pumped. "We just took a sip whenever Gonzales said he didn't remember something."

"How were we to know?"

Grim-faced medical professionals say the worst is not yet past. "If Cheney or George, Jr. go under oath," warned a weary EMT, "All bets are off."

Enjoy Populist Radio on the Web

There are so many choices for populist radio fans on the web, it's hard to remember that only four short years ago, talk radio was a rightwing monopoly. Now, we have choices. Most of our nation gets one or more of these broadcast, and all of us can get them through the web!

And don't omit:

You don't have to like all of the above, but isn't it great to have choice!

More info:

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

How the Pilgrims Came to America

Until they fix this:

1. Go to Google Directions:

2. Enter From: portsmouth, uk

3. Enter To: plymouth rock, ma

4. Hit "Get Directions". Note step #11

It works the other way too, but results are in kilometers.


They "fixed" it so it no longer works. Why?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Flat Tax Social Security!

Some conservatives love the idea of a flat tax, but are worried about social security running out of money.

Let's meet BOTH concerns by funding social security with a flat tax. That way we can see whether a flat tax works as advertised.

Currently, the social security tax is only partly flat; it is about 6.2% up to $90k, then it goes to zero. See

Let's just make it a flat 6.2% for all income. That'll make social security solvent for all time, and may be have a surplus for helping retire the general debt.

What say? Do we have a deal???

Monday, April 09, 2007

Today's RightWing Talking Point: Obama's Ethics

The right wing talkin' point for today: a photo of Obama chatting with his campaign manager in his office "proves" he violated Senate Ethics rules on page 10:

This is part of the GOP "Little Lie" Strategy: when your Big Lies fail, just fire off a thousand little lies, so the weak-minded people figure that something must going on. (Remember when Bill Clinton trashed the White House? Remember when Nancy demanded a bigger plane? Remember when AlQaeda congratulated Democrats on winning in 2006? Remember when Nancy violated the Logan Act? Remember when Obama did a dirty land deal? etc. etc. etc. Paul Krugman explains the strategy in "Sweet Little Lies, April 9, 2007.)

Now in this case, it's obvious the story is a lie; it would be unreasonable for the Senate to pass a rule saying that one of its members can't talk to a campaign manager in his own office. Otherwise, Senators would have to be leaving their offices all the time, just to ask the smallest question. And that's just not gonna happen, no matter which Party is in charge.

So what about the rule on "Page 10"?

Mostly it's about very reasonable limits on taxpayer-funded Senatorial staff. But the Senator is not a member of his own staff, and nor is his campaign member.

What's left: "Contributions may not be solicited on, or for delivery to, Senate property." This has nothing to do with a Senator talking to his campaign manager.

And: "Senate space and equipment may not be used for campaign activities."

That leaves us with the question is: does "campaign activity" mean talking with a campaign manager?

Well, of course you could define it so. But that would lead to unreasonable results:

*The Senator must leave the Senator several times a day to find out his itinerary et

*When the Senator meets constituents,the constituents could not say "I hope you win re-election!"

* And it make moot the rule: "Contributions may not be solicited on, or for delivery to, Senate property." For if a Senator can not TALK about his campaign, he surely can not solicit money about his campaign.

It is clear that "campaign activity" means something OTHER THAN soliciting money, or just talking about the campaign with voters or someone who is not a Senate staffer.

A rule should always be construed in a reasonable manner. "Activity" more reasonably means "event" in this context. Senators can't hold campaign parties in their office; can't offer sleepovers in exchange for funds; can't even hold a Victory Ball there.

But Senators CAN talk about their campaigns with people who are not Senate staffers, as Senators of both parties did for generations.

And the Little Lie is DEBUNKED.

Who Should Prosecute Subpoenas on U.S. Attorney Firings?

Should it be:

  • Someone who lost a job to one of the fired attorneys?
  • Someone who worked for the Attorney General who did the firing?
  • Someone who helped draft legislation for the Administration who did the firing?

You don't have to choose! You can get a three-fer with Jeff Taylor!

Remembering Stolp Netflix

Back in 2007, Kris' mother Ginger was staying with her mother to provide living assistance. Ginger lived in a small housetrailer on the family farm in Chewelah, WA. Her mom was quite elderly and infirm, while Ginger was unemployed so this seemed like a reasonable arrangement. However, she said the TV reception was not very good there.
I suggested getting them a subscription to Netflix. At the time, this was a service that would mail you you DVD selections, and when you returned some, would mail you the next on the list.
I set it up and paid for it of course (Kris was never very good at either setting things up or paying for them - other than the rent which is significant.) I can across Netflix's welcoming email, which said we'd set up the account in the name "Stolp" and listed the 1st 3 movies: "Happy Feet", "Deep Sea IMAX", and "Walk The Line".
I am happy to have made life a little bit better. I neither got nor expected thanks, although a couple of times I was told that they enjoyed it. Perhaps that is what they thought a thank-you was.
Anyway, they're out of my life and into my history! 

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Logan Act Gate?!?!

A recent WSJ editorial accuses House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of violations of the Logan Act, when she spoke with Syria's dictator the other day.


1. The Logan act does not prohibit Members of Congress from performing their official duties; Congress is part of the government of the United States and therefore Congress-sanctioned investigations have the "authority of the United States". If Pelosi were off on a frolic, perhaps she would be subject like any other citizen, but her visit was part of her official Congressional duties.

2. Several Republicans went on the same trip and, logically, would be subject to prosecution if Pelosi was. So what's stopping Attorney General Alberto Gonzales from indicting the lot?


Saturday, April 07, 2007

War Tax Refund 2007

There is a legal tax refund you can take for certain War Taxes you paid 2003-2006! It's not much, but you're entitled. Take it as a protest against Bush's War, or take it because you like the money.

But you have to fill out the form. The short version takes 1 minute; the long version can take longer but get you more money. It's up to you.

More information, including links to the form, to the DoT press release and to a site that has a video guide, is here: