Saturday, February 04, 2012

Recently On Law & Order: Conception Police!

Crime in Progress:
Attempted Murder of Fertilized Egg!
It was night watch on Friday when we got the call from a patrol car, "Attempted Murder in progress at the corner of Liberty and Bell!"
My partner and I rushed to the scene, followed by the SWAT van. The house on the corner was dark, but with infrared goggles we saw two figures struggling in the den. There were muffled noises, and then a scream of "Oh God!".
We broke down the door to a hellish scene. The perp was a middle-aged man with a receding hairline and a belly the size of a beer keg. He was obscenely naked. The victim of the crime was no where to be seen, but on the couch a woman in a teddy covered her face.
"What are you doing here, coppers?" Fat Gut sneered. "You got nothing."
"Oh yeah?" I shot back, "What do you call this prescription for birth control pills, filled earlier this month in the name of your wife?"
"So? Sex with my wife isn't a crime!"
"Tell that to a jury! Everyone knows life begins at conception, and that the pill keeps a fertilized egg from implanting. Your sex act is going to create a fertilized egg that you know is going to die - you murderous slime ball!"
"That's ridiculous!" he snapped. "You'll never make the charges stick!"
"That's for the prosecutor to decide. Meanwhile, you're coming with us downtown. But first," I waved forward my assistant, the one with the black doctor's bag and the dry-ice container, "We have to impound the murder weapon. Surgeon, do your duty!"
Fat Gut screamed as his weapon was put on ice, and I smiled. Another would-be killer meets pro-life justice!

Friday, February 03, 2012

Pondering the "No Budget" issue ...

All over the internet, I see Republicans angrily demanding Reid present a budget, and it puzzled me why he didn't.

It turns out: it's already been done.

Remember, a budget is not a binding document; it's just a blueprint for spending. The president does not sign it and it is not a federal law. It's just a memo describing how spendings will go, subject to actual appropriations bills.

And guess what! for 2012, the debt-limit agreement in August directs spending for 2012!

Senate Appropriations Chairman Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii) has already asked the heads of the subcommittees to write their appropriations bills for fiscal 2013.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Save Yourself? or Save the World? What is Christianity anyway?

Whether Jesus was presenting a recipe for personal salvation (and to heck with your impact on the rest of the world) or one for right behavior (which necessarily involves caring about your neighbor) is a traditional debate, and arguments may be fairly made on either side. Indeed, it is so balanced that the most reasonable answer is that He was presenting either both or neither, for had He intended either alone, He was quite capable of saying so.
Those who prefer the teachings of Jesus that talk about right living in the world may consider those who emphasize only personal salvation as selfish; after all, given the choice of eternal bliss or aiding your neighbor in a temporal world, it would be irrational not to choose the eternal. However, it is the demanding of such a choice that is the error: salvation and serving your neighbor are not separate things but the same. When asked directly how to achieve Salvation Jesus said it was all in how you treated the least of His People.
If it unlikely that Jesus knew the word “socialism” and certainly there have been some hellish schemes propounded by humans in the name of “socialism”, but Matthew 25:40 is pretty clear.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Neighborcycling - a Change The World Wednesday Discovery (#ctww)

Take my word for it  -
There's a birdbath in there
which was Neighborcycled

We've all heard of recycling, and I've often talked about "freecycling", but my latest discovery is "Neighborcycling" - moving on usable goods, for which we have no current use, to our neighbors.
This is just a normal part of being neighborly but it depends on reaching out and making contact with the people on our block.
A while back, I was asked the lady a couple of doors down something about gardening, and she mentioned her next task was potting a whole lot of plants. I remembered that I had a huge stack of excess red clay pots. A few minutes later, she had pots, I had an empty space, and the landfill had nothing!
One of my favorite neighborcycles involved the birdbath. Our nearest neighbors had decided that theirs didn't really fit into their yard, and set it on the curb for anyone to pick up. That anyone was me. I'd like to say that I was just looking out for the birdies that provide us with so much amusement, but the fact is, been looking for something to set next to the oil intake in our front yard, because I was always running into it when walking barefoot - ouch! The birdbath was the perfect visual cue to step around.
Neighborcycling is nothing fancier that just getting to know your neighbors, talking on a regular basis and sharing your surplus. This has a whole lot of benefits - fun, friendship and neighborhood security - but if it can also help keep things out of the landfill, why not?
I was moved to write about this in response to the latest Change the World Wednesday Challenge:
"Share ideas on how we can keep stuff out of landfills."
I've been doing CTWW for over a year now, and it's fun. Each week, we get a new challenge to try; don't you love a challenge? The fact that it's good for you and good for our future generations is a bonus!