Friday, May 08, 2015

Clinton Official Found Dead! ZOMG!

OMG News Service - Samuel Roswell of Mt. Clemens, Michigan, was found dead in his bed at Mt. Sinai Hospital yesterday around 7:00 AM, officials said. Cause of death is is officially listed as unknown, but political observers were quick to note that the location of Hillary Clinton was also unknown at the time.
"Two unknowns at the same time?" reported Sean Hannity of Fox News. "That's a coincidence that disturbs all Americans."
"What was Mrs. Clinton thinking to get involved with this in the first place?", asked Peter Schweizer, author of Clinton Cash, a book that asks questions without supplying answers. "Why has she not explained this unexplained death?"
"This is the end of the Clinton campaign," said Joe Scarborough. "No one can continue a political career after an unexplained death like that."
"My husband was well-loved throughout the County," said his wife, the former Addie Loggins. "I am sure going to miss him."
The deceased was a lifelong Democrat and Chief Executive of Clinton County for more that 20 years. He was age 92 at time of death.

Thursday, May 07, 2015

The Jade Helm 15 Invasion Of Texas

When I heard of "Jade Helm 15", my first thought was "What about Jade Helm 14? Was there one, or is the Pentagon running out of names and just slapping numbers on things?"
The I learned that it's a secret plan for Obama to invade Texas, or something. This was really interesting, because everybody knows Texas has a shortage of military personnel already.

At first I thought of asking someone with actual relevant experience, such as Jim Wright, whose Jade Helm: The Insanity that Ate Texas is both informative and hilarious. But then I said, screw it, I'm gonna consult the legendary philosopher and Bruce Lee punching bag Chuck Norris:
"... progressives in the mainstream media tried to mock Gov. Abbott for telling the Texas State Guard to monitor the Pentagon’s Jade Helm 15 military ops that are occurring this summer in seven states, including California and Texas....What’s under question are those who are pulling the strings at the top of Jade Helm 15 back in Washington.
The U.S. government says, ‘It’s just a training exercise. But I’m not sure the term ‘just’ has any reference to reality when the government uses it....
If the government insists on running expanded military ops across seven Southwest states, why doesn’t it move all that ‘military training’ south and protect our borders at the same time?!” Norris said.
The comedy styling of Chuck Norris often enliven an otherwise dismally boring news cycle, but in this case he shows not merely paranoia but also a complete lack of understanding of what a "military" does. Sure, our guys could practice "securing a border". But what if we ever wanted to do something else?
 "Sir, we need to infiltrate Pakistan to pull their nukes before a radical government takes over."
 "Well, ok, what are our capabilities?"
 "Uhm, we've practiced securing borders. That's it. We don't know how to go into a strange city and find a warehouse full of nukes, but I guarantee if any Mexicans try to sneak into Pakistan, we'll stop them."
 "Well, ok, that will have to do."


At one time there was some question as to whether today's conservatives are right in the head, but Jade Helm 15 has put that question to rest. As Wright says: "Paranoia is a mental illness not a super power".

Monday, May 04, 2015

New Bees!

Mason Bee Bedroom
Saturday I acquired 100 mason bee cocoons from Crown Bees in Woodinville.
Their new home is an east-facing house on a post in my south yard. In the garden below is a small hole for them to mine for mud. The one spot not filled in with plants is directly below the faucet.
As per directions, I let them hatch on their own for a day. Sunday afternoon I took the next step: to open cocoons very carefully with nail scissors and help them get out.
The first one was a surprise and a delight; after a while, it got to be routine, but still delightful.
I video'd one exiting and was entertained when it did something unexpected:

Sunday, May 03, 2015

4freeCLE Magazine - CLE on Mobilehomes, E-Discovery, Ethics and more - - April 27, 2015

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