Thursday, August 28, 2008

Body Wash ?!?

So I'm trying out this fancy new exercise facility (what once was called a "gym") and when it's time to take a shower, I am delighted to see that it features a variety of presumably shower-appropriate substances in large plastic pump bottles.

The one on the right is labeled "Shampoo", a word that has amused me since I was aged five ("sham" + "poo" get it? ... you might if you're aged five.) Then there's "Conditioner" which seems redundant for have I not spent the last hour conditioning myself? But I slap some on the muscles ... why not?

Finally we get to "Body Wash". WTF? No soap? Instead of soap, there's this stuff that I guess I "wash" my "body" with. Leaping over the probably pointless distinction between "body" and "head", I fly directly to the question of whether to trust ANY substance labeled with a verb. Stuff labeled "Tasty Eat" should be avoided.
"Wash"?The name of the thing is also its instruction manual? Is this like "soap" only for people too stupid to know what you do with "soap"?

"Hey, this says soap? What's it for? Gee I wish I had something to wash my body with."

I figure the urinal could be labeled "pee catch" and that the toilet paper ... well there are so many things you can do with TP, you'd need several squares just to print the name: "Biowaste absorb and prank decorate" just for starters.

Well, I'm going to make some "Caffeine drink" now.

1 comment:

Beej the Pink Sheep said...

"Pee catch" made me laugh out loud.
You're quite a witty man.