Washington, D.C. - The Department of Education reports a new crisis in our schools, as literally millions of students are turning in tests filled with the identical answer: "I don't recall."

"This began late last week," said a spokesman, "Apparently, teenagers in particular got the idea that they could not be penalized if they answered every question 'I don't recall'. When teachers ask for a more complete response, they just get more of the same."

Educators are mystified about the rapid spread of this problem.