The I learned that it's a secret plan for Obama to invade Texas, or something. This was really interesting, because everybody knows Texas has a shortage of military personnel already.
At first I thought of asking someone with actual relevant experience, such as Jim Wright, whose Jade Helm: The Insanity that Ate Texas is both informative and hilarious. But then I said, screw it, I'm gonna consult the legendary philosopher and Bruce Lee punching bag Chuck Norris:
"... progressives in the mainstream media tried to mock Gov. Abbott for telling the Texas State Guard to monitor the Pentagon’s Jade Helm 15 military ops that are occurring this summer in seven states, including California and Texas....What’s under question are those who are pulling the strings at the top of Jade Helm 15 back in Washington.The comedy styling of Chuck Norris often enliven an otherwise dismally boring news cycle, but in this case he shows not merely paranoia but also a complete lack of understanding of what a "military" does. Sure, our guys could practice "securing a border". But what if we ever wanted to do something else?
The U.S. government says, ‘It’s just a training exercise. But I’m not sure the term ‘just’ has any reference to reality when the government uses it....
If the government insists on running expanded military ops across seven Southwest states, why doesn’t it move all that ‘military training’ south and protect our borders at the same time?!” Norris said.
"Sir, we need to infiltrate Pakistan to pull their nukes before a radical government takes over."
"Well, ok, what are our capabilities?"
"Uhm, we've practiced securing borders. That's it. We don't know how to go into a strange city and find a warehouse full of nukes, but I guarantee if any Mexicans try to sneak into Pakistan, we'll stop them."
"Well, ok, that will have to do."
At one time there was some question as to whether today's conservatives are right in the head, but Jade Helm 15 has put that question to rest. As Wright says: "Paranoia is a mental illness not a super power".