How to Balance Obama's Speech to Kids

"Kids, studying is hard work.

Don't do it. Don't study and do not stay in school!

If you picked your parents well, your daddy will get you into college and set you up in business with your buddies. If you were born poor or middle class, well it sucks to be you!

In America, it may be true that even a man who has a funny name and was born into a family that had troubles can stay in school, study hard, work hard and run for President! And even get more votes than the other guy!

But it can't happen to you! We're working hard to ensure that, so don't bother trying, 'k?
Remember, kids, whether you're in the classroom or just walking around wearing a suit ... if something really bad happens, you should freeze for six or seven minutes. Sooner or later, another man in a suit will come along to tell you what to do.

You already know that school is hard work. And I'm here to tell you that it does not matter. Don't study! Don't stay in school!

Hope sucks. Give up!"

--- This message offered by the Republican National Committee, in reply to the President's message to America's children