What if Superman wakes up one day, and decides he's gonna Destroy All Evil?
Why not? He's the Sole Remaining Superpower and the Champion of Truth, Justice & The American Way.
So he goes and smashes a dictatorship. BAM! Nobody does it like The Superman does it!
The people are grateful.
But Supes --- he won't go home.
He figures, the people he liberated aren't ready to take care of their stuff. So he's gonna do it.
And he's standing there, thinking, and this car comes toward him. He shouts "STOP!" in his super-voice but they don't stop, so he zaps it with his heat vision, in self defense. It's not HIS fault if they don't speak English!!!
Some old guy starts complaining about the dead people in the car. Superman knows people understand that he means well and mistakes just happen.
Since Superman smashed the dictator's electricity plants, it gets all dark and stuff but that's o.k. Anyone out after dark is probably a lawbreaker and he hits them hard. SPLAT! The people should feel safer now.
The place starts to smell bad. Superman remembers that he broke the water system while he was fighting the dictator. There's Shit All Over - what is wrong with these people ????!!!!
The people over here are hard to tell apart. They've got mustaches and don't wear super suits with their hero ID on the chest, so sometimes Superman's not sure who's with him and who's against him.
Then someone told Superman that the guy on the next street had kryptonite, so Superman blew up the whole block in self-defense. Boy were the neighbors mad at Superman! They told Superman the informant was helping the evil General Zod. Now Superman is confused, but he sure can't leave while people are all mad at him.
After a while, the people decide they need help.
Who else can they turn to but Lex Luthor? Lex is a very bad man but what else can they do?
Superman keeps trying to "help". He won't leave so long as there's a single liberated person seeking help from the evil Lex Luthor.
Now what is Superman gonna do?
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
"Landslide" by Dixie Bush
"Ah took my nation and Ah took it down.
Ah asked Dick Cheney to turn it around
Ah Accomplished my Mission in a big photo op
Till the landslide brought me down.
Oh, Cheney is the guy
Who runs the gov.
Can the Decider in my heart rise above?
Can I sail thru the changing angry tides,
Can I handle the outing of my lies?
Well, Ah've been afraid of changing 'cause Ah built my term around Iraq
Mah crimes made you smolder
Democrats get bolder
I'm gonna fold or crack.
Well...
Well, Ah've been afraid of changing 'cause Ah built my term around Iraq
The facts makes them bold for
The Congress got told, ahr,
I'm gonna fold or crack.
Well...
Well Dick sold us out for PNAC.
So, take mah crimes and take me down
Yeah and if you vote impeachment and you bring me down
And if Ah bungled Mah Mission in the oil-covered sands
Well the landslide brought me down
And if Ah bungled Mah Mission in the oil-covered sands
Well maybe
Well maybe the landslide will make me frown."
===
with apologies to
http://www.lyricsondemand.com/d/dixiechickslyrics/landslidelyrics.html
"Ah took my nation and Ah took it down.
Ah asked Dick Cheney to turn it around
Ah Accomplished my Mission in a big photo op
Till the landslide brought me down.
Oh, Cheney is the guy
Who runs the gov.
Can the Decider in my heart rise above?
Can I sail thru the changing angry tides,
Can I handle the outing of my lies?
Well, Ah've been afraid of changing 'cause Ah built my term around Iraq
Mah crimes made you smolder
Democrats get bolder
I'm gonna fold or crack.
Well...
Well, Ah've been afraid of changing 'cause Ah built my term around Iraq
The facts makes them bold for
The Congress got told, ahr,
I'm gonna fold or crack.
Well...
Well Dick sold us out for PNAC.
So, take mah crimes and take me down
Yeah and if you vote impeachment and you bring me down
And if Ah bungled Mah Mission in the oil-covered sands
Well the landslide brought me down
And if Ah bungled Mah Mission in the oil-covered sands
Well maybe
Well maybe the landslide will make me frown."
===
with apologies to
http://www.lyricsondemand.com/d/dixiechickslyrics/landslidelyrics.html
Sunday, July 08, 2007
If George Jr. Was Your Ex ...
Let us say that your ex tells the cops that you have a stolen car, using the following evidence:
1. She said you had a car in 1998 (shortly before she blew it up ... she doesn't mention the blowing up part).
2. She shows satellite photos of the car at your place of work, but when detectives went there, it turned out that it wasn't your place of work at all or your car. She says this only proves you were hiding something.
3. You were found shopping for an air compressor; she says there is no use for an air compressor other than inflating the tires in a car.
4. A British girlfriend gave her a forged document showing that you sought to purchase kerosine. When the forgery was found out, she said they had other information on this subject. She didn't mention this other information was a conversation you had with a gas station owner in which you did not discuss kerosine.
5. She sent detectives to all the places that we knew you had a car. In your garage? no. On the street in front of your house? no. She gave them many leads, all of which lead to nothing. That is in itself proves you have a stolen car.
6. On the basis of this undisputed evidence that you have a stolen car, she burned down your entire neighborhood so that you couldn't use the stolen car she said you had.
7. In general, the statements she made about your car put her in a very strong position to accomplish her domestic political purposes. So long as your neighborhood is on fire, the fire department would do anything she asks ... and the City Council will have to go along, lest she accuse them of not supporting the Fire Department.
NOW: how could any reasonable person come to any
conclusion other than that your ex can be trusted?
Let us say that your ex tells the cops that you have a stolen car, using the following evidence:
1. She said you had a car in 1998 (shortly before she blew it up ... she doesn't mention the blowing up part).
2. She shows satellite photos of the car at your place of work, but when detectives went there, it turned out that it wasn't your place of work at all or your car. She says this only proves you were hiding something.
3. You were found shopping for an air compressor; she says there is no use for an air compressor other than inflating the tires in a car.
4. A British girlfriend gave her a forged document showing that you sought to purchase kerosine. When the forgery was found out, she said they had other information on this subject. She didn't mention this other information was a conversation you had with a gas station owner in which you did not discuss kerosine.
5. She sent detectives to all the places that we knew you had a car. In your garage? no. On the street in front of your house? no. She gave them many leads, all of which lead to nothing. That is in itself proves you have a stolen car.
6. On the basis of this undisputed evidence that you have a stolen car, she burned down your entire neighborhood so that you couldn't use the stolen car she said you had.
7. In general, the statements she made about your car put her in a very strong position to accomplish her domestic political purposes. So long as your neighborhood is on fire, the fire department would do anything she asks ... and the City Council will have to go along, lest she accuse them of not supporting the Fire Department.
NOW: how could any reasonable person come to any
conclusion other than that your ex can be trusted?
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Then And Now ...
Then...
They said cigarettes didn't cause cancer.
They said blacks shouldn't be able to vote and or marry whites.
They said that if we didn't keep fighting in Vietnam, the Commies will invade California.
Now ...
They say Global Warming is a hoax.
They say Valerie Plame wasn't a covert agent hunting WMDs.
They say that if we don't occupy Iraq, the Muslims will invade Hoboken.
What will they say next?
They said cigarettes didn't cause cancer.
They said blacks shouldn't be able to vote and or marry whites.
They said that if we didn't keep fighting in Vietnam, the Commies will invade California.
Now ...
They say Global Warming is a hoax.
They say Valerie Plame wasn't a covert agent hunting WMDs.
They say that if we don't occupy Iraq, the Muslims will invade Hoboken.
What will they say next?
Thursday, July 05, 2007
The Hole in the Commutation/Pardon Plan
Any otherwise legal act becomes a crime when done in an act of bribery, in obstruction of justice, or in the commission of other crimes.
For example, it is perfectly legal for you to drive a car. But if you knowingly drive a car transporting a bank robber away from his crime, you are guilty of a crime.
Libby's acceptance of the commutation was in furtherance of obstruction of justice, and in exchange for his silence. That's 2 new crimes for him, not covered by the commutation, and 2 new crimes for Bush.
In addition, the pardon power at the time the constitution was drafted did not cover the furtherance of a conspiracy to protect the Executive from future prosecution. It was intended to be an act of mercy for past crimes not related to the person granting the pardon. Just as no man may be a judge in his own case, no executive may grant a pardon in a matter that had put him in legal jeopardy.
For example, it is perfectly legal for you to drive a car. But if you knowingly drive a car transporting a bank robber away from his crime, you are guilty of a crime.
Libby's acceptance of the commutation was in furtherance of obstruction of justice, and in exchange for his silence. That's 2 new crimes for him, not covered by the commutation, and 2 new crimes for Bush.
In addition, the pardon power at the time the constitution was drafted did not cover the furtherance of a conspiracy to protect the Executive from future prosecution. It was intended to be an act of mercy for past crimes not related to the person granting the pardon. Just as no man may be a judge in his own case, no executive may grant a pardon in a matter that had put him in legal jeopardy.
A Priest, a minister, and Scooter Libby ...
... walk into a bar.
Pretty soon they're all wasted and start busting the joint up.
"Oh, my!" said the minister, "I broke a table. But Jesus will forgive me in the morning."
"Oh, my!" said the priest, "I broke a chair. But I can give myself absolution right now."
"Oh, you are such losers!" sneered Scooter Libby. "I can break every law in the book, and George W Bush will pardon me in November!"
... walk into a bar.
Pretty soon they're all wasted and start busting the joint up.
"Oh, my!" said the minister, "I broke a table. But Jesus will forgive me in the morning."
"Oh, my!" said the priest, "I broke a chair. But I can give myself absolution right now."
"Oh, you are such losers!" sneered Scooter Libby. "I can break every law in the book, and George W Bush will pardon me in November!"
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
1947 v. 2007
1947: six years after Pearl Harbor, America is victorious everywhere and at peace for two years. Hitler is dead, and Tojo about to be executed.
2007: six years after 9/11, America is bogged down in Afghanistan & Iraq, with peace at least ten years in the future. bin Ladin is laughing his ass off!
The difference:
FDR was in it to win.
The House of Bush and Saud are in it for the money.
1947: six years after Pearl Harbor, America is victorious everywhere and at peace for two years. Hitler is dead, and Tojo about to be executed.
2007: six years after 9/11, America is bogged down in Afghanistan & Iraq, with peace at least ten years in the future. bin Ladin is laughing his ass off!
The difference:
FDR was in it to win.
The House of Bush and Saud are in it for the money.
Friday, June 22, 2007
How The Con Works
Atop the table on the sidewalk are three cups.
The man puts a ball under the cup labeled "Iraq".
Next to it are "Iran" and "Korea".
"The first round is free!" he says. "It'll pay for itself! Trust me!"
So you say, ok, I'll play.
He moves the cups around, back and forth.
When they stop, you pick "Iraq".
OK, the ball's there.
"Ready to play?"
So you plonk down the ante.
$100 Billion dollars.
100,000 cases of PTSD
10,000 wounded.
1000 dead.
America's safety goes under a cup. He moves them around and around.
Pick the cup.
Wait! It's not there!
Try another cup?
"Sure, ante up again."
More dollars.
More PTSD
More wounded.
More dead.
Missed again! But now you see how he does it.
Ante up again.
Missed it again!
But next time, you will win for sure!
The game goes on.
It will go on as long as you care to play.
Why?
You are an honest, decent citizen.
You do not understand how cons work.
The ball is not under any of the cups.
The ball is in his hand all the time.
As long as the game continues, you keep giving him money.
Why would he want the game to stop?
Why do you want to keep playing his game?
The man puts a ball under the cup labeled "Iraq".
Next to it are "Iran" and "Korea".
"The first round is free!" he says. "It'll pay for itself! Trust me!"
So you say, ok, I'll play.
He moves the cups around, back and forth.
When they stop, you pick "Iraq".
OK, the ball's there.
"Ready to play?"
So you plonk down the ante.
$100 Billion dollars.
100,000 cases of PTSD
10,000 wounded.
1000 dead.
America's safety goes under a cup. He moves them around and around.
Pick the cup.
Wait! It's not there!
Try another cup?
"Sure, ante up again."
More dollars.
More PTSD
More wounded.
More dead.
Missed again! But now you see how he does it.
Ante up again.
Missed it again!
But next time, you will win for sure!
The game goes on.
It will go on as long as you care to play.
Why?
You are an honest, decent citizen.
You do not understand how cons work.
The ball is not under any of the cups.
The ball is in his hand all the time.
As long as the game continues, you keep giving him money.
Why would he want the game to stop?
Why do you want to keep playing his game?
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