Do Charity For Free: Download a Cookbook!

What could be easier? Through March 31st, 2008, you can download a free cookbook and get $1 donated to the Charity "America's Second Harvest". Just go to http://www.celebrityitaliantable.com, click on "Download Cookbook", and follow directions.

Now, of course the sponsors of this cookbook are hoping you'll sign up for their email newsletter. That's up to you - you'll probably like it, but anyway it's optional. So why not give it a try?

The Price Is Right!

And ... for more ways to do charity for free, see:

• The Hunger Site: http://www.thehungersite.com
  
• The Facebook Charity Trivia Quiz: http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=18422480242

United NAFTA Job Export Drive Announced

The bipartisan American Jobs Export Foundation announced its annual United NAFTA Job Export Drive today.

"In the early days of NAFTA," said spokesman Bill Clinton, "Jobs ran easily across the Rio Grande, boosting the Mexican economy. However, the Mexican economy has suffered as its low-cost jobs fled to even lower-cost nations such as China. Americans must dig deeper into their paychecks, and donate more jobs."

Historian George W Bush explained, "For nearly two centuries, Americans used tariffs to equalize the cost of labor between nations. If Mexican wages were so low that a pair of shoes costing $2 to assemble in North Carolina would cost only $1 in Mexico, a dollar tariff could be imposed so that all workers competed on a level playing field. This raised wages both in Mexico (since low wages didn't lead to export advantage) while supporting them in the USA."

In a hushed tone, Bush described the dreadful consequences:
"This pernicious system reduced profits and permitted lazy workers to lives so lavish that a typical family with one wage-earner could afford a decent house in which to raise a large family!"

WTO and NAFTA saved America from that dread fate, by leading to a massive outflow of jobs and much higher profits for exporters to the United States. But Mexico has not benefited, since other nations have even lower wages.

"As a result," chorused Bush and Clinton together, "Americans are called once again to show their support for alleviating poverty.

"More jobs must be donated! Give your job to the United NAFTA Job Export Fund today!"

The Job You Export ... May Be Your Own!

Michelle clip edited to be deceptive

How interesting!

Michelle Obama says "for the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of my country because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback.”."

Meaning, she used to be proud, but now she's really proud.

But the clip that is going around has "really" clipped out of it. Listen, and you can hear the edit:
http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=49244

Note that the text has "really" in it, but the sound has "really" cut out.

Oh my! Why would anyone change to audio?

Is this the sort of slime we can expect from Obama's attackers?

Let's read the whole quote:

"What we have learned over this year is that hope is making a comeback. It is making a comeback. And let me tell you something -- for the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of my country. And not just because Barack has done well, but because I think people are hungry for change. And I have been desperate to see our country moving in that direction and just not feeling so alone in my frustration and disappointment. I've seen people who are hungry to be unified around some basic common issues, and it's made me proud."

How to use APC for Media Mail


1. At home (or, optionally, at USPS if you're lonely): weigh packages, mark poundage upper left corner (where the stamp will cover it) (Anything under 13 oz send 1st Class Mail). Stamp "Media Mail"
Count how many of each weight.

2. At APC:
2.1 Pick "buy stamps"
2.2 Pick "other postage amount"
2.3 Punch in amount for one poundage category, e.g. $2.13 for 1 lb media mail
2.4 Tell APC how many you want. This may take several passes, if the APC is limited to printing 5 stamps at a time.
2.5 Repeat 2.3 - 2.4 for each poundage category
2.6 Apply stamps, put in tubs, and politely leave on counter.

3. It is considered poor form to taunt the people waiting in line, but you can feel silently smug.

Executive Order Changes Integer Sequence

Dude Ranch, TX - George W Bush issued an executive order today reducing the number of Americans under fire in Iraq to a low of 150,000, down from the 2006 high of 130,000.

"To achieve this reduction," said the order, "The generals on the ground have determined that we must define 150,000 to be less than 130,000. The American people do not want the traditional sequence of integers to interfere with the judgment of the generals whose paychecks depend on pleasing Me. I therefore order that 150,000 be less than 130,000."

"Nothing in the Constitution keeps the President from reordering the integers," said White House spokesdroid Dana Perino. "Congress has never prohibited the Federal Government from doing this, and there are no court cases to the contrary."

Reaction was swift and approving. "We have long applied similar logic to reducing the deficit," said Republican lead Mitch McConnell, "We reduced the high deficit of a surplus during the Clinton years to an all-time low of a $400 billion deficit under Bush."

Democrats in Congress issued their traditional ritual denunciation. "By golly, he's got us on that one," said Majority Placeholder Harry Reid. "But what can we do? Even if the House impeached him, an executive order can define 23 Republican diehards as a majority in the Senate."

"We plan similar reforms in the electoral process," smiled White House puppeteer Karl Rove. "Once you realize that 100 million votes for a Democratic Party candidate can by executive order be made than 55 million Republican votes, the whole process is simplified. Give up!"

Support the Troops Legislative Priorities

Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America has come up with a few legislative priorities. It's time to decide whether "Support the Troops" is talk, or for real:

* A New GI Bill.
A modernized WWII-style GI bill that fully covers the cost of an education at any public school or equivalently-priced private school.

Benefits for Reserve/National Guard servicemembers should be based on the cumulative length of their deployments and not on their single longest deployment.
Tuition costs should be paid up front and directly to the college, allowing veterans access to education without forcing them to rely on loans.

* Ensure Thorough, Professional, and Confidential Mental Health Screening.
IAVA supports mandatory and confidential mental health and TBI screening by a mental health professional for all troops before and after a combat tour.


* Overhaul Military and Veterans’ Disability System.
DOD and VA disability systems must be streamlined to provide adequate compensation for the injuries suffered by today’s military personnel.

* Make VA Health Care Funding Sufficient and Mandatory.
Every year, veterans are forced to fight for funding for veterans’ health care, and the VA budget is regularly late. This irregular funding system means that it is difficult for veterans’ hospitals to plan ahead for hiring or hospital repairs. The only way to ensure timely funding of the VA is to make VA health care funding mandatory.

* Combat Shortage of Mental Health Professionals.

According to the Pentagon’s Task Force on Mental Health, the military’s “current complement of mental health professionals is woefully inadequate.” Immediate and innovative steps must be taken to recruit and retain military mental health professionals.

* Protect Servicemembers from Unfair Contracts.
Students who are deployed overseas should be reimbursed for tuition paid towards interrupted coursework. Returning students must be reinstated with the same academic status they earned before they were deployed. 6% interest cap in the Servicemember’s Civil Relief Act (SCRA) should apply to student loans.

MORE INFORMATION:
http://www.iava.org/legislativeagenda

To these I add: stop Bush's crazy occupation of Iraq. Our troops have done all that can be done. Let the Iraqis solve their own problems.

Happy To Caucus!

There are so many reasons to be happy going into the Saturday Caucuses!

1. At last, Washington State gets a turn to decide the future of our nation.
Microsoft. Boeing. And amber waves of grain. Washington State is not one of those arrogant, boastful states (hello Texas and New York!) but we're smart and fun-loving. So listen up!

2. Democrats have to choose between two good candidates. Wow!

3. I prefer Obama. Hilary has many good points and would be a fine president. But, America is ready to move on from the Bush/Clinton era.

4. Obama taught Constitutional Law for eight years. America NEEDS a president who's actually read the thing.

Election 2008: The New Mod Squad

The 2008 Elections have given birth to a new TV Series: The New Mod Squad!

The original Mod Squad was a police drama produced by Aaron Spelling, featuring three young, hip, crime fighters in a multicultural society. Its catchphrase was "One Black, One White and One Blonde"

The New Mod Squad, produced by Rupert Murdoch, has updated this to "One Black, One Blonde, and One Grumpy Old Man".

In the first episode of the New Mod Squad, Hilary searches for her soul and is captured by the DLC. Obama pursues her throughout the Red States, leading to a dramatic finish when McCain bombs the entire Middle East.

As the ending credits run, the trio sing their theme song

"We are all different,"
"But do not let that trouble you
"For we have one thing in common,"
"We're none of us George W".

Bush Wins Highspend Trophy!

George W Bush won his eighth consecutive Highspend Trophy today, with a $3 Trillion budget including over $400 Billion in new debt.

"We are proud to be on his team," said fellow Republican Mitch McConnell "His record high spending includes more than 8% more for the war profiteers that fund our Party, while freezing payments to hospitals and other health care providers. Instead of budgeting more to allow for inflation and population increases, we will let the natural forces of evolution take care of the sickly. It's nature's way!"

George's style of play included aggressive attacks on spending to help ordinary Americans. "We cannot afford clean water and health care for all American children," he explained, "We have a lot of bombing to do, and it's not cheap recording all that traffic on the internets."

Bush's style of play included some cost savings, such as withholding the customary paper copies of his budget to members of Congress and the media. "Let Congress print its own copies," said White House Spokesbarbie Dana Perino. "That way, the toner comes out of their budget, not ours."

"George has set a high standard," said fellow Republican John McCain "But I hope to beat his record, even if it takes me 100 years in Iraq."

In related news, earthquakes were recorded throughout the American southwest. "That's just Barry Goldwater," said a seismologist, "He's spinning in his grave again."