Wednesday Kris and I had our second meeting at Zeek's Pizza in West Seattle.
We had been having difficulties talking about the divorce. The problem with talking about it at home or at one of the places that we used to go to frequently is that those locations are loaded with emotional connections, and neither of us want to turn them into a place where bad things happen.
We've had a couple of great pizza's at Zeek's; make no mistake, it's a good place; however, it's not close enough to the house that we went there often, and it is therefore nothing special.
We first went there some weeks ago and talked over some financial stuff; is was such a non-fraught discussion that I really don't remember what decisions we made.
This evening was my idea; I was going to present my analysis of the proper disposition of the house. I want to rent the top floor, live in the basement, and use it as a base for eventual retirement. I was prepared to argue about the high costs of selling it, especially the lost opportunity cost of developing it.
Before I got far, Kris simply agreed. I get the house, and I don't go after my share of other assets we accumulated during the marriage that she considers hers.
I was surprised, but then, I hadn't sufficiently looked at things from her point of view. I had tried, but I missed some things.
Kris is understandably concerned about how this can be effectuated, but on that score I have little doubt. Now that we have an agreement in principle, her expensive lawyer can work out how to accomplish it - or I can do it, but she should have someone look at it. Since our concept is agreeable to both of us and abusive to neither, we can go on being friends - (friends without benefits) - divide up the stuff, and move on.
I am pleasantly surprised, but it really seems to have helped to talk things over in a neutral location. Try it!