Why Did #Obamacare Cause A Pigeon To Do This To Little Danny? Oh Why???

WASHINGTON DC - It was a heartbreaking scene. Little Danny Smith, from the shady village of Arkham, New Hampshire, was visiting our nation's capitol when disaster struck.
"It was awful," said his mother. "Normally there are thousands of tourists thronging the Mall and public buildings. But today it was nearly empty."
Almost alone, and completely unprotected, Danny was struck by surprise by a Capitol pigeon. A pigeon who would have been frightened away by the crowds that would have been there, if it were not for Obamacare.
"I understand that Congress has to shut down the government to keep us from getting used to affordable insurance, purchased through websites that let us compare plans," sobbed Danny, "But why did Obama send a pigeon to poop on my head?"
"This is just another example of big government gone wild," said half-term governor and Fox News commentator Sarah Palin. "I'd say more but I've got to quit now."
Pundits across the spectrum from right-wing to insane right-wing took to the media to demand justice for poor little Danny, the latest victim of Obamacare!