Saturday, October 15, 2011

#CitiBank's New Customer Retention Policy: Jail Them!

Citi's New Logo!
Congratulations to CitiBank for its innovative new program for retaining customers: if too many people try to close their accounts, call the police and have them arrested!
I appreciate that the situation is more complicated than this. CitiBank is a person, and if it's a person that commits three felonies, it could go to jail for life. Just Kidding! CitiBank is the sort of person that is completely immune to jail time - so it can refuse to give back your money all it wants and never see the inside of jail - but if you insist Citibank give you your money, you can!
Is this a great country or what?

Personally, I moved my money to credit unions years ago. I was briefly lured back to a commercial bank last year, by the promise of free money for opening an account but - silly me! - there is no free money - it was all eaten up in fees! LOL@me!!!
So now I'm back to credit unions only; if you're smart, you'll do the same. Find a credit union at Move Your Money.
And whatever you do, DON'T GO TO CITIBANK TO CLOSE YOUR ACCOUNT ... unless you need a place to stay for a few days. Hey, it's getting cold out; if you've lost your home to foreclosure, maybe Citibank'll do you the favor of having you arrested!
(Technical note: new logo designed with the aid of, a cute little utility. Thanks!)

Here's an account by the videographer herself:

No comments: