Washington, DC - President Barack Obama was caught on video petting the family dog for around 10 seconds today, igniting yet another scandal in his trouble-plagued administration.
"All that talk of bipartisanship was a sham," thundered Newt Gingrich, at home with his current wife, "Not once has Obama offered to pet Congressional Republicans, yet here he is caught in the act of petting, not a House Minority Leader or even a Senate Minority Whip, but a Portuguese water dog."
"Liberals claim there is no harm in petting a dog," sniffed George Will, "But this often leads to the dog begging for more. Many will roll on their backs for their bellies to be scratched. Then what? This sort of thing brought down the Roman Empire, and it's a threat to American heuristical hegemony everywhere."
There was some controversy in this story leading off every network news hour. Fox News labelled it "PettingTheDogGate" while MSNBC called it "DogGateII", a reference to the scandal surrounding the initial selection of the animal. Sunday Talk Shows are already booking pundits to denounce the liberal bias in reporting this story.
"Until that dog is put under oath and made to explain what he was offered for his continuing silence on this matter," said Republican National Chair Michael Steele, "The Republican Party is going to hammer away on this. It's an issue Americans care about!"