Tuscumbia, Missouri - Construction workers at the first "shovel-ready" stimulus project (a bridge in Missouri) threw down their tools in disgust when they learned their efforts would only prolong the economic crisis.
"I thought working would be good for the economy because I could buy food for my family," growled a burly foreman, "Instead I learn that putting people to work is bad for the economy. That makes me mad!"
"Down with jobs!" shouted a front-loader operator. "Let the economy take its course. I'd rather sell my children than take government money to repair a bridge in my community!"
Professor Hack of the Chicago School of Economics explained,
"The Great Depression started in 1933 when FDR took a healthy economy, in which up to 70% of the workforce was employed, and ruined it by putting people to work. It didn't get better until a Republican president took over from Truman. Clearly the massive spending of the New Deal and World War Two were complete wastes."
At the job site, tools lay in the mud as workers stomped off enraged. "We want better returns on our derivative-backed security portfolio," they chanted in unison, "Infrastructure is for pansies!"
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