Monday, February 09, 2009

New Rules for Public Servants in the Internet Age

1. Act as if whatever you do may end up on YouTube.
2. Figure out WHO you you want to be sleeping with and (if you're married) make sure it's your spouse. See Rule #1.
3. Get someone other than yourself to figure out how much you owe in taxes, and make sure their analysis can survive a political campaign, a confirmation hearing, and common sense. While you're at it, always pay the IRS 10% more than you think you owe; if the IRS sends you a refund check that's better than if you're caught short.
4. Do not try to save money by hiring an illegal alien to babysit your kids or move your law. See Rule #1.
5. If you're hiring a contractor to fix up your house, make sure they actually bill you for their work. Also, see Rule #4.
6. Never forget that no kick-back, bribe, money under the table, golfing trip to an island where the drugs and hookers flow freely ... is worth 4-to-10 at Leavenworth, plus an eternity on having your perp walk mocked by your political foes and, eventually, your great-grandchildren. See Rule #1.

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